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You know you’re running Windows when

… you get dialog barf all over the screen:

Or better, dialog barf and empty messages:

… Anti-Norton Virus discovers the secret Gates Hell service:

It has been supposedly removed from the machine but Windows is still clinging onto its preciousssss…

Windows does not even know what itself looks like, with this very ropey rendition of its taskbar:

A random glitch in Windows file sharing causes the desktop to hang, the taskbar as soon as you try to run a program, any Explorer window where you try to see the desktop, any application that opens a Save dialog until the whole system is held for ransom:

View complete screenshot