Windows Crash Gallery page 12 by David Joffe

“… there’s no wow here, not even in ironic quotes. Vista is at best mildly annoying and at worst makes you want to rush to Redmond, Wash. and rip somebody’s liver out”

—Stephen Manes,

Windows Vista (1)

2007-09-26 Excel 2007 believes that 850 × 77.1 == 100,000.

2007-07-16 Windows Explorer still not responding.

2007-07-16 Windows Explorer not responding after network reconnect.

2007-07-05 Opening a CHM help file off a network drive doesn’t work.

Clicking a link within the help file:

2007-06-22 Windows Explorer not responding again, after installing Chinese IME maybe.

2007-06-13 Yet another Vista Calendar crash.

2007-06-10 Excel 2007 always says there are changes, every time, even when no changes are made.

2007-06-03 Windows Defender scan has frozen the computer; notice all the Task Manager icons in the tray, from trying to open Task Manager to kill Windows Defender.

Microsoft Register Server

2007-05-30 “Microsoft(C) Register Server has stopped working”; this has happened a couple of times now, usually while installing applications.

[What's with using “(C)” instead of “©” in the 21st century? Wait … do they not mean “®”? Also, I wouldn’t consider regsvr32.exe a server—Ed.]

Windows was unable to install your Basic Optical Mouse

2007-04-15 “Windows was unable to install your Basic Optical Mouse”; I can no longer install any new USB devices on my Vista machine, not even a basic Microsoft USB Mouse! Flash disks and removable hard disks also don't work. It is always unable to find the drivers. The USB devices are actually fine, as some of the devices I configured before this started still work. (Some online forums claimed you could work around this problem by manually pointing the driver detection at the “c:\windows\system” folder, but this never worked for me.)

2007-02-18 Always wondered why this never happened before; it’s basically impossible to go ahead here. I chose ignore; the software never worked though.

[Also notice that the window decorations are not only fake, but badly drawn. In Windows 2000 and XP at least, though, you can close Explorer by going to Start → Shut Down, then ctrl-alt-shift-click Cancel—Ed.]

Vista Calendar Crash

2007-02-10 My Windows Calendar crashes often, even when it’s just running in the background (I don’t even use it).

Windows Explorer has stopped working

2007-02-05 This is how the new application crash dialog looks.

“The local device name is already in use

2007-01-29 “The local device name is already in use.”

2007-01-26 Vista has serious issues with network share access. Eventually after months of it randomly working only sometimes, I found a Registry edit ‘fix’.

Click back

2007-01-26 Vista says to “Click back”, but there is no “back” button (yeah I know it’s in the top left).

[Moving Back to the top left as if the whole system is a Web browser confuses me too. Also note the relative capitalisation of “back” and “Next”—Ed.]

A compatible DVD decoder is not installed on your computer

2007-01-26 More a gripe than a bug: Vista cannot play DVDs out the box.

Vista confused about screen size

2007-01-25 Vista is very confused about the screen size (I think I changed the screen resolution). Also note that the exchange rate applet doesn’t work (“Bad Number”), and the mapped Mac network drive problems.

2007-01-25 Not really a bug; Vista considers itself incompatible with Microsoft Visual Studio 6.