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The SamGod File

Stolen shamelessly from Peter Hosey’s now defunct Quote-File Central for public archival purposes.

Quote #0

+----------From the Original Iceman UMF maintained by Icegod---------------------+
|   SamGod: there r way too many ppl in here tonight, what's up with that?       |
|   SamGod: I can't follow a single convo                                        |
|  ChrisC-: SamGod, because no one's *talking to you* :)                         |
|   SamGod: ChrisC:  Much like real life                                         |
|                                                                                |
|   SamGod: I like how Apple's keeping up with the times...  Steve's in touch w/ |
|           the current FlowerPower pulse of the youth                           |
|   SamGod: woops, sorry, I thought it was the '60s                              |
|                                                                                |
|   SamGod: hey guys (and I'm talking to the males in here):  what do u value    |
|           more, your girlfriend or your Mac?                                   |
|  baratus: girlfriend (since my mac is only an LC and it doesn't give me        |
|           blowjobs)                                                            |
|   Icegod: sam- why not ask the chicks about their g/fs too?  :P                |
|verbivore: yeah, sam. you kida sidestepped the mac-owning lesbian demographic.  |
|  ChrisC-: SamGod, rephrase that                                                |
|   SamGod: Icegod:  'cuz I take care of that in my dreams                       |
|   SamGod: Would u trade your Mac for a girlfriend?                             |
|   Icegod: AAAAARGH                                                             |
|   Icegod: don't give me that kinda question                                    |
|             ChrisC- hasn't a mac, so it's a moot point. but if i did...hell no |
|             TedEBear would give anything to get a girlfriend.                  |
|   SamGod: Icegod: u a chick?                                                   |
|   Icegod: negatory                                                             |
|   Icegod: hold on                                                              |
|   Icegod: lemme pose the question to a dyke mac-lover i know                   |
| TedEBear: as long as I got it all back when the relationship fell apart. :P    |
|             TedEBear didn't know there was lesbian macintoshes.                |
|   Icegod: she says: "hmmmm depended on the girl, and would i get to keep my    |
|           files?"                                                              |
|                                                                                |
|   SamGod: and what's GPF?                                                      |
|    fGewA: General Protection Fault                                             |
|   SamGod: umm...   whatever that is                                            |
|    fGewA: it's Windows for 'oops, I fucked up, you have to restart me now'     |
|   SamGod: Barbara Bush, Janet Reno, and Linda Tripp threesome?  Oh HELL FUCK   |
|           YEAH!!!                                                              |
|<editor's note:  this wouldn't be nearly as funny if he wasn't reasonably       |
| sincere, but he's made it obvious that he's fucking (no pun intended) desperate|
| for sex.>                                                                      |
|                                                                                |
|   SamGod: I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands in the stream of |
|           water, and all of a sudden I stop and get TOTALLY grossed out and I'm|
|           like "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking I just got a ton of piss all over |
|           my hands.  Then I realize it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out |
|           of it, not piss.  What the HELL was my brain thinking?               |

Quote #1

Wed, Feb 21, 2001
01:54:57 AM:     SamGod: fGewA:  considering I had only heard of it until what I thought was a
    normal human female that I had actually grown to like quite a bit, with whom I had arguments and
    in-depth discussions with, I found to be some fucking grad student's CS thesis in AI and neural
01:56:12 AM:       Coda: reason #439567337465 why online relationships are a crock of shit

Quote #2

Sat, Feb 24, 2001
12:40:02 AM:     SamGod: votergate:  Newton's 2nd Law of motion: A computer that's left on will stay
    on unless otherwise shut off.   A computer that's off will remain off unless otherwise turned

Quote #3

Sun, Mar 04, 2001
02:43:59 AM:  EtherKnot: I have social skills, I just got back from my swim.
02:44:35 AM:     SamGod: EtherKnot: interacting with water isn't a social activety since water isn't
    another human being

Quote #4

Mon, Apr 02, 2001
[this sums it up nicely]
03:50:31 AM:      fGewA: samgod - so you're a guilty pathetic sexually-desperate little girl. FINE.
    that's nice

Quote #5

Sun, Apr 15, 2001
01:26:52 AM:     Icegod: the person who was sitting at my computer smells like ass
01:27:10 AM:     Icegod: i can hardly stand it
01:27:18 AM:             Icegod switches chairs to see if that helps
01:27:33 AM:             Icegod opens a window, too
01:28:06 AM:     SamGod: Icegod: aren't YOU the person sitting at yer compouter?
01:28:07 AM:     Icegod: no, _before_
01:31:05 AM:     SamGod: crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't breath fresh air 'cuz all I
    smell is gasoline
01:31:32 AM:       Coda: why do you smell gasoline SamGod?
01:32:04 AM:     SamGod: Coda:  'cuz I smell like gasoline
01:32:08 AM:       Coda: why?
01:32:37 AM:     SamGod: Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my sleve for warmth for a
    few hours last night
01:32:54 AM:     Twist-: See? he is a psycho.
01:33:06 AM:     SamGod: well, actually, I switched off between one sleve, then the other, then my
    pant leg, then the other, etc...
01:33:16 AM:             Coda smiles and backs away slowly
01:33:24 AM:             Coda turns and runs far and fast
01:33:32 AM:     Twist-: didn't occur to you to get inside the car?
01:33:43 AM:     SamGod: didn't seem such a bad idea last night though, and I wasn't the only one
    doing it
01:34:07 AM:     SamGod: Twist-: it wasn't a car, it was the generator we were using at the cemetary
01:34:44 AM:     SamGod: my mom is like "It has probably absorbed through yer skin"
01:35:09 AM:             Twist- avoids any attempt at subterfuge, and just runs the hell away.
01:35:30 AM:     SamGod: spent 12 hours at a cemetary fondling a damn exaust pipe, yeah, what a
01:36:39 AM:     SamGod: It was for wamrth dammit, I wasn't the only one doing it.
01:37:10 AM:     SamGod: although the exaust singed off all the hair on my fingers

Quote #6

Mon, Apr 16, 2001
01:36:49 AM:              fGewA misses no chance to embarrass, humiliate, and publicly demean samgod
01:36:56 AM:      fGewA: (neither, as I see it, does he)

Quote #7

Tue, Apr 17, 2001
01:07:28 AM:              SamGod ain't afraid of asking dumbass questions
01:07:37 AM:      fGewA: samgod - we've noticed

Quote #8

Thu, Apr 19, 2001
12:36:07 AM:     SamGod: one of the most humiliating and emberrasing things that could possibly
    happen during a phone call with a young female support operator happened to me today
12:37:26 AM:      fGewA: she turned you down?

Quote #9

Tue, May 15, 2001
01:03:31 AM:     SamGod: I could sure use a good hard kick in the balls right now
01:04:12 AM:              fGewA delivers samgod's requested good hard kick in the balls, while
    wearing a steel-toed boot with 2"-spiked shinguard
01:04:42 AM:     SamGod: fGewA: that would be SOOOOO good if u were a chick
01:04:51 AM:     SamGod: but since yer not
01:05:00 AM:     SamGod: ********** O U C H ***********

Quote #10

Thu, May 24, 2001
02:13:28 AM:     SamGod: is it normal to get off on before & after plastic surgery medical pics of
    naked women?
02:15:30 AM:      fGewA: we need to get samgod a girlfriend before he starts trying to get the bots
    to fellate him :P

Quote #11

Thu, May 24, 2001
10:19:40 PM:     SamGod: MadFly: hey, I designed the Nike logo
10:19:51 PM:     MadFly: Really?
10:19:52 PM:     MadFly: SamGOD????
10:20:05 PM:     SamGod: MadFly: yeah, and the AT&T deathstar
10:20:10 PM:     Icegod: hahahah... you just believed something samgod said
10:20:21 PM:     MadFly: I don't know SamGod soooo.
10:20:20 PM:      fGewA: smile, you're on candid UMF

Quote #12

Thu, Jun 07, 2001
12:22:00 AM:     SamGod: I had white creaming milky stuff all over my black pants, shoes, shirt, and
    the table my friend & I were eating on had about an inch (an INCH) of white foam on it
12:22:09 AM:     SamGod: as did the floor under the table

Quote #13

Sat, Jun 16, 2001
01:38:25 AM:     SamGod: wow, so the Lakers lost????????
01:39:12 AM:      fGewA: The Lakers have gone from a bickering bunch of apparent malcontents to the
    best playoff team in history to repeat NBA champions, a transformation capped by their 108-96
    victory over the 76ers in Game 5 of the NBA Finals on Friday. --ESPN
01:39:03 AM:     SamGod: they're saying Lakers fans got wild and violent
01:39:16 AM:      fGewA: samgod, that was LAST year
01:39:23 AM:      fGewA: this year was peaceful
01:40:53 AM:              SamGod <-- moron
01:40:57 AM:      fGewA: no samgod
01:41:07 AM:      fGewA: we all know, deep in our hearts, you are not a moron
01:41:17 AM:      fGewA: we only call you that because we can't think of a better word...
01:41:19 AM:      fGewA: IDIOT.

Quote #14

Sat, Jun 16, 2001
03:01:17 AM:  zirkonion: !time
03:04:10 AM:     SamGod: the time around here has been temporarly suspended until further notice

Quote #15

Thu, Jan 17, 2002
03:04:44 AM:     Samrod: is suit_riot kriptik?
03:06:52 AM:    Server: suit_riot is ~nobomb@cube.et.tudelft.nl (Jotham)
03:05:33 AM:  suit_riot: sam you're about as perceptive as a public urinal

Quote #16

Wed, Jun 27, 2001
12:55:07 AM:     SamGod: I can grow breasts in the time it takes that page to load
12:56:28 AM:  LafinJack: i TOLD you that you were a woman

Quote #17

Wed, Aug 08, 2001
02:33:23 AM:    Server: Topic for #macintosh: SamGod: it's so not hard, I've done it 0 times

Quote #18

Sat, Sep 15, 2001
11:32:43 PM:     Samrod: what's a backhoe?
11:33:02 PM:      fGewA: go read a book on construction apparati for 5-year-olds
11:33:27 PM:     Samrod: fGewA: go learn regexps
11:33:37 PM:      fGewA: samgod - considering I wrote one that works and you didn't...
11:33:48 PM:     Samrod: wrote what that works?
11:33:55 PM:      fGewA: a backhoe, duh. ;P

Quote #19

Wed, Sep 19, 2001
02:36:32 AM:     Samrod: "My love for you is like diareah, I just can't hold it in."

Quote #20

Wed, Nov 14, 2001
<Samrod> only problem is it's a SCSI burner, and my 8600 has SCSI
<fGewA> samgod - er, why is that a problem?
<Samrod> because
<Samrod> oh
<Samrod> fGewA: dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Samrod> fGewA: yer a fucking genius!!!!!!!!!
* Samrod slaps himself!
<fGewA> compared to you, hell yes.
<Samrod> that's not a problem!!  I can use this burner!
<Samrod> damn brain, what the hell was I thinking up here in my head

Quote #21

Sun, Dec 23, 2001
Dr. David Banner == the Incredible Hulk, in case you didn't know.
    Samrod:  STein:  I'm just hoping my dick doesn't undergo what David Banner's entire body does
     fGewA:  you mean bursting out of your pants?
 LafinJack:  you mean turn green?
    Samrod:  swell up into a green musclebound giant

Quote #22

Sun, Jan 13, 2002
01:00:19 AM:     Samrod: VideoDir: why do you want an IDE burner?
01:00:46 AM:   VideoDir: i have it lying around
01:01:20 AM:     Samrod: that's one lazy CD burner

Quote #23

Tue, Jan 15, 2002
01:22:05 AM:     Samrod: fGewA: yer pretty cute for a 17 year old (not in a kiddyporn way, but a
    cool guy/geek kinda way)

Quote #24

Sun, Jan 20, 2002
01:02:48 AM:     Samrod: showed my mom iMovie, iPhoto, TiBook, iBook, and the iPod, and she was
01:04:11 AM:  EtherKnot: This just in. Samrod blew his mother away. News at 11.
01:04:42 AM:   erisynne: what, EK?
01:04:47 AM:   erisynne: did he finally learn how to wipe his own ass and tie his shoes?

Quote #25

Sun, Jan 20, 2002
02:49:46 AM:     Samrod: logic is engranded in my DNA

Quote #26

Mon, Jan 28, 2002
03:25:34 AM:    Samrod: who would do such a viscious thing?
03:25:42 AM:   fGewA: samgod - a viscous thing?
03:25:47 AM:    Samrod: vicious
03:25:54 AM:   fGewA: ah, vicious :)
03:25:50 AM:    Samrod: visoius
03:26:03 AM:    Samrod: vicius
03:26:09 AM:   fGewA: Vicius Caesar
03:26:26 AM:   fGewA: untold emperor of rome (for about 4 minutes)
03:26:40 AM:    MrMojo: sucks to be him
03:26:45 AM:   fGewA: sucked. ;)
03:27:32 AM:    Samrod: MrMojo: sucks to be who?
03:27:39 AM:   fGewA: Vicius Caesar
03:27:43 AM:   fGewA: weren't you paying attention?
03:28:14 AM:    Samrod: fGewA: dude, if you had any idea how semi-conscious I am whenever I'm in

Quote #27

Mon, Jan 28, 2002
03:27:19 AM:    Samrod: while ME, on the other hand, FOUND a digital Casio watch, spend 2 days
    breaking the code to access the phonebook, called a buncha peaple to see who they know in
    common, and eventually found its rightfull owner, which turned out to be a classmate
03:27:25 AM:   fGewA: me find digital watch!
03:27:31 AM:   fGewA: me call rightful owner!

Quote #28

Thu, Feb 07, 2002
02:22:48 AM:    Samrod: if other guys have sex with a mold of my shlong, does that make me gay?
02:25:23 AM:    Samrod: if you jerk off to a picture of yerself as a kid, does that make you gay, a
    pedaphile, or both?

Quote #29

Wed, May 01, 2002
10:10:28 PM:    Samrod: fGewA: who's "michelle"?
10:10:36 PM:  michelle: <--- michelle
10:10:38 PM:  michelle: duh

Quote #30

Wed, May 01, 2002
NOTE: as of June 2002, samgod has moved to #macintosh-adults. more updates as they occur.
of course, Icegod doesn't go to #macintosh-adults, so his contributions end here.

Quote #31

Fri, Jun 21, 2002
02:37:14 AM:   Mystara: You thought I was a she?
02:37:37 AM:    Samrod: Mystara: no, but I didn't think yer a guy either
02:37:52 AM:    Samrod: with androgenous names, I assume nothing
02:37:42 AM:    Server: Mystara is ^Alan@m641-mp1-cvx2b.lut.ntl.com (What a guy!)

Quote #32

Mon, Feb 17, 2003
from Undernet #macintosh:
04:13:57 AM:   kriptik: we [he and Samgod] had coffee
04:14:06 AM:   kriptik: and he complained about how it hurts to drink coffee

Quote #33

Thu, Jul 3, 2003
[he's back in #macintosh!]
03:47:20 AM:   <Samrod> my god, what happened, I don't remember all you guys hanging out in Mac-
    adults, just the regular #Mac channel
03:47:42 AM: <TedEBear> that would be that you joined the regular #macintosh channel, ya know. ;P

Quote #34

Thu, Jul 3, 2003
03:52:55 AM:   <kathee> back :)
03:53:15 AM:   <Samrod> kathee?  is this a different kathee or the same one?
03:53:35 AM:   <kathee> there is only ONE kathee =PP
03:53:38 AM: <fGewA> samgod - you need an examine command
03:53:41 AM: <fGewA> > x kathee
03:53:47 AM:   <Samrod> x kathee
03:53:50 AM:   <Samrod> hmm...
03:53:53 AM:   <kathee> :D
03:53:53 AM: <fGewA> I said you need, not you have
03:53:59 AM:   <Samrod> ah

Quote #35

Thu, Jul 3, 2003
03:54:11 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  remember "samrod"?
03:54:18 AM: <fGewA> who would that be?

Quote #36

Sun, Jul 6, 2003
[of the Samgod File.]
05:16:40 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  why is the initial stuff in the box at the top, and the rest is just
    normal w/ date stamps and such?
05:16:57 AM: <fGewA> samgod - read the top of the box

Quote #37

Sun, Jul 6, 2003
[talking about the situation that led to 19 Apr 2001.]
05:24:44 AM:   <Samrod> never has something I did YEARS earlier end up biting me in the butt like
    that, and that wasn't even the first time
05:25:06 AM:  <ramoth4> Sammy, you just contradicted yourself.
05:25:16 AM:  <ramoth4> Congrats.

Quote #38

Sun, Jul 6, 2003
05:33:39 AM:   <Samrod> crap, I'm gonna get blOO balls if I don't have some cereal NOW
05:33:47 AM: <fGewA> what the--?
05:34:05 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: WTF
05:34:11 AM:  <ramoth4> Does cereal turn you on or something?
05:34:20 AM:  <ramoth4> "Oh, grab my lucky charms, bitch!"
05:35:50 AM:   <Samrod> it's the closest thing to sex I can get from food

Quote #39

Tue, Jul 8, 2003
03:06:57 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Where do you live, again?
03:06:58 AM:  <ramoth4> :)
03:07:15 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  Paris, France
03:07:19 AM:   <Samrod> shit, wtf?
03:07:31 AM:   <Samrod> no, I'm in Los Angeles (why the FUCK did I say Paris?)

Quote #40

Tue, Jul 8, 2003
03:51:15 AM:   <Samrod> OUCH!  Mother FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
03:51:40 AM: <TedEBear> sam: um. if it hurt you did it wrong.
03:51:48 AM:  <ramoth4> haha
03:52:27 AM:   <Samrod> god damnit, never put the TV remote RIGHT by yer balls, because when there's
    something on TV that pisses you off and you wanna change the channel NOW, you reach for the
    remote and POW!  BAM!  CRUNCH!
03:52:35 AM: <TedEBear> um.
03:52:40 AM: <TedEBear> sam.
03:52:56 AM: <TedEBear> you *REALLY* gotta stop playing with yourself.
03:53:07 AM:   <Samrod> Ted:  I wasn't, I just reach for the remote and missed
03:53:07 AM: <ramoth4> fGewA: SGM
03:53:14 AM:  <ramoth4> :)
03:55:10 AM:   <Samrod> ya know, you get some serious tunnel vision if you crunch yer balls hard
[time passes.]
03:58:27 AM:   <Samrod> ok, I'm really faint now
03:58:54 AM:   <Samrod> guess that's vasectomy money
03:58:38 AM:  <ramoth4> Hm
03:58:54 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Maybe you should take your hands OFF your balls now.
03:59:39 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  um, I'm crouching down in pain atm.... type type type, moan and
    grab balls while reading, type type type, moan & grab balls
04:00:37 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: OK, that sounds like you're reading nifty.org, not undermac.
04:00:52 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Go get some ice
04:01:30 AM:   <Samrod> heh....   tryin' to get my mind off my balls... I think a bowl of cereal may
    do the trick
04:02:15 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: you should get some ice for your balls, d00d.

Quote #41

Sun, Jul 13, 2003
03:05:02 AM:   <Samrod> for example, I have fucked up eating patterns (I don't eat), my male friends
    usually react like "heh, dumbass" while my female friends are like "oh my god, well go get
    something to eat, wanna grab a bite?  Don't do that to yerself...  "
03:05:45 AM:   <Samrod> such a fundamental difference between the genders
03:06:00 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Actually
03:06:09 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth: actually what?
03:06:11 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: I think it's because annorexia is a more common problem in women
    then men
03:06:28 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  wtf?  I'm not anorexic
03:06:32 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: I know
03:06:35 AM:  <ramoth4> but they dont
03:06:42 AM:  <ramoth4> shit i dont even know what we're talking about
03:06:49 AM:              ramoth4 kicks cough syrup in the nuts
03:07:16 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  but they genuinely care more, women are just more empathetic
03:07:22 AM:  <ramoth4> ah
03:07:29 AM:   <kathee> what ARE we talkin about ???
03:07:38 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  yer ppl
03:07:42 AM:  <ramoth4> kathee: OK good maybe i'm not nuts
03:08:06 AM:   <kathee> 'my' ppl?
03:08:13 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  I mean women
03:08:33 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  IOW:  the beautiful people
03:09:06 AM:   <Samrod> the kinder, gentler side...  the ones who put "humane" in humanity
03:09:17 AM: <fGewA> there's no 'humane' in 'humanity'
03:09:24 AM: <fGewA> 'human', yes, but no 'humane'
03:09:34 AM:  <ramoth4> fGewA: I know, thats ironic part
03:09:35 AM:  <ramoth4> :)

Quote #42

Tue, Jul 22, 2003
02:57:00 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  um...     stones & toes will break my bones, but I'm sleepy
02:57:22 AM: <fGewA> toes?
02:57:59 AM:   <Samrod> yeah, the 5 dildoes on each feet?
02:58:12 AM:   <Samrod> um, foot digits
02:58:09 AM: <fGewA> errrrr.

Quote #43

Tue, Jul 22, 2003
03:16:48 AM:   <Samrod> so would guys rather have nipples on women's asses, or a whole between their
03:16:55 AM: <fGewA> WTF?
03:17:07 AM: <Tamahome_> assnipples, ewww
03:17:23 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: neither?
03:17:48 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth: at least the chesthole won't smell bad
03:18:40 AM:  <ramoth4> yeah, but think about cleavage
03:19:11 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  hmm.....    then maybe a whole with labia?

Quote #44

Tue, Jul 22, 2003
03:20:37 AM:   <Samrod> so Bukaki makes a great name for a girl
03:20:46 AM:   <Samrod> or dog I guess
03:20:57 AM: <fGewA> samgod - go to sleep :P
03:21:00 AM: <Tamahome_> Samrod: it's usually romanized as 'bukkake'
03:21:09 AM:  <ramoth4> bukkake is NOT a good name
03:21:44 AM:   <Samrod> then Genetelia, Gen for short
03:21:49 AM:   <Samrod> maybe Jenetelia
03:22:03 AM:   <Samrod> Juanitelia if yer latina

Quote #45

Mon, Aug 11, 2003
11:52:52 PM:  <kriptik> Samrod: let me demonstrate
11:52:56 PM:   <Samrod> heh
11:52:59 PM:   <Samrod> go ahead
11:54:06 PM:              Samrod wonders wtf krip is up to
11:54:16 PM:  <kriptik> nevermind
11:54:19 PM:  <kriptik> undernet is fucked
11:54:28 PM:   <Samrod> lucky undernet
11:54:26 PM:  <kriptik> you'll have to meet Wendy19 another day
11:54:32 PM:  <kriptik> she's ten years your junior!
11:54:59 PM:   <Samrod> um....  why would Wndy19 want to meet me?
11:55:07 PM:  <kriptik> because she thinks your a fox
11:55:36 PM:   <Samrod> krip:  ok, that's not funny and just plain cruel
11:56:45 PM:    Server: Wendy19 (moider@roo.sporkism.org) joined #macintosh
11:56:51 PM:  <Wendy19> Hi
11:57:06 PM:   <Samrod> uh, Hi
11:56:57 PM:  <Wendy19> can someone help me with javascript?!
11:57:23 PM: <fGewA> wendy - what part of your JavaScript-fu needs augmentation?
11:59:17 PM:  <Wendy19> someone?
11:59:24 PM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:   yes?
11:59:26 PM:              fGewA prods wendy
11:59:28 PM:  <Wendy19> hi samrod
11:59:35 PM:   <Samrod> holy shit,  JavaScript?   Dude, that's my thing
12:00:37 AM:    <Twist> Samrod: yeah?  wtf doesn't this work?  <select onchange="this.blur();">  ...
12:01:10 AM:   <Samrod> Twist:  that should work I
12:01:27 AM:    <Twist> Samrod: I have an amazingly bad relationship with that word.
11:59:44 PM: <fGewA> 'dude'?
11:59:48 PM: <fGewA> ye of poor sight
11:59:50 PM:   <Samrod> I mean dudette
11:59:52 PM: <BrainWorm> dudette.
12:00:10 AM:   <Samrod> and krip even helped me out, damn
12:00:25 AM:  <kriptik> i'm only a cunt some days
12:00:04 AM:  <Wendy19> this is confusing me
12:00:18 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  ask away
12:00:29 AM: <fGewA> better yet, ask a person
12:00:33 AM: <fGewA> ways generally don't answer you
12:00:38 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy19, did you read the channel rules? Specifically, rule #12: "Women
    folks should keep atleast 3 area codes between themselves and Samrod?
12:00:53 AM: <fGewA> haha
12:01:18 AM: <fGewA> rule 12 amendment b lists acceptable defensive devices for closer contact
12:01:07 AM:  <Wendy19> farmers have the internet?
12:01:31 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy, since you were a sparkle in some drunks eye ;)
12:01:28 AM:  <Wendy19> ok this is really busy
12:01:35 AM:   <Samrod> GREAT, yer gonna scare her off...
12:01:42 AM: <fGewA> hell yeh!
12:01:48 AM:              fGewA gets his halloween costume
12:01:50 AM:   <Samrod> everyone shut the hell up and let her talk
12:02:04 AM:              FarmerJoe shuts up
12:01:50 AM:  <Wendy19> i wanted to know how to make an extra item in a list
12:02:07 AM:  <Wendy19> with internet explorer on macos 9
12:02:10 AM:  <Wendy19> on apple
12:01:54 AM:   <etorix> answer her question
12:02:00 AM: <fGewA> all together now:
12:02:02 AM: <fGewA> TROGDOR!!!
12:02:08 AM: <BrainWorm> Wendy19, ask the question.
12:02:20 AM:   <etorix> she did
12:03:15 AM: <BrainWorm> there it is, she did already ask the question.
12:02:17 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  what kind of list?  Like at array?
12:02:32 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: a list? on?
12:02:52 AM: <fGewA> mecool - Apple
12:02:57 AM: <fGewA> she already said that
12:03:28 AM:   <MeCool> but but ... okay i dunno... an item on the list on Apple?
12:02:55 AM:  <Wendy19> i have a list
12:03:24 AM:  <Wendy19> days=['one','two'];
12:03:33 AM:  <Wendy19> i want to put another word in days?
12:03:51 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: add something into the array?
12:04:21 AM:  <Wendy19> the list?
12:04:31 AM:  <Wendy19> say i want to put my name, wendy into the list
12:04:38 AM:  <Wendy19> the list days
12:05:07 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: i could be way off but it seems that your using a language/script
    to insert something into an array... where are you typing this ?
12:05:25 AM:  <Wendy19> MeCool: i said, internet explorer
12:05:29 AM:  <Wendy19> MeCool: on my apple
12:05:41 AM: <vetteman> hey Wendy, are you open late?
12:04:28 AM:              fGewA prods samgod. not gonna bathe her in your immense, uh.. experience?
12:04:56 AM: <FarmerJoe> fGewA, if she starts hanging out with him, use the url
12:05:06 AM: <fGewA> which url was that again?
12:05:28 AM: <FarmerJoe> to the icegod text file
12:05:42 AM: <fGewA> icegod? I don't maintain his UMF
12:06:13 AM: <FarmerJoe> you still have the url?
12:06:27 AM: <fGewA> only URLs I have are UMF, SGF, and MAF
12:06:39 AM: <FarmerJoe> exactly
12:06:46 AM: <fGewA> joe - which one?
12:07:13 AM: <FarmerJoe> the url to the Samrod text file....any/all of them. let her know what she's
    getting herself into
12:07:21 AM: <fGewA> ah
12:07:27 AM: <fGewA> yeh, I'll do that if need be
12:06:30 AM:   <MeCool> does neone else understand Wendy19's problem?
12:06:41 AM: <fGewA> mecool - I think we should let samgod weigh in on it
12:06:57 AM: <vetteman> give it to her good Samgod
12:07:12 AM:   <Samrod> I would be telling her in public if you guys weren't being such dorks
12:07:33 AM: <vetteman> dude, this is IRC, what do you expect
12:07:58 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:   the splice method lets you add or remove elements from an array
12:08:17 AM:  <Wendy19> i don't know how to check messages with this thing
12:08:26 AM: <fGewA> press the blinking red button
12:08:46 AM:  <Wendy19> there is no mouse?
12:08:52 AM:   <Samrod> no wonder...
12:09:02 AM:  <Wendy19> what does samrod mean
12:09:25 AM: <BrainWorm> now there's a question.
12:09:18 AM: <FarmerJoe> sam=samuel, rod=giant tool
12:09:37 AM:  <Wendy19> is he black?
12:09:53 AM: <BrainWorm> black and blue.
12:09:52 AM:   <Samrod> is who black?
12:10:00 AM:  <Wendy19> samuel?
12:10:00 AM:   <MeCool> im just confused
12:10:06 AM:   <MeCool> what the hell is everyonetalking about?!?!?!?1?!?1
12:10:15 AM: <fGewA> you
12:10:21 AM:   <Samrod> everyone but Wendy just SHUT UP
12:10:24 AM:   <Samrod> SILENCE
12:10:36 AM: <fGewA> OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
12:10:36 AM: <FarmerJoe> Samrod, to much caffine tonight bro?
12:10:32 AM:   <MeCool> we all love Wendy19 :)
12:10:48 AM: <BrainWorm> I love Wendy19 too.
12:10:54 AM:   <Samrod> fuck.... she's not gonna get help unless you all shut up
12:11:01 AM:   <MeCool> lollll
12:11:01 AM:              FarmerJoe lusts wendy
12:11:08 AM:              MeCool pokes at Samrod :)
12:11:09 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  type /msg samrod  to msg me
12:11:30 AM:   <MeCool> Samrod: are you okay?
12:11:37 AM:   <Samrod> uh boy
12:11:40 AM:  <Wendy19> Samrod: why? i can't read it
12:11:40 AM: <FarmerJoe> wendy, watch out for samrod
12:11:54 AM: <FarmerJoe> he's a major dork
12:12:03 AM:   <MeCool> i havent heard dork in ages
12:12:03 AM: <fGewA> no no
12:12:06 AM: <fGewA> he's a general dork
12:12:06 AM:   <MeCool> hehe
12:12:09 AM: <fGewA> he got promoted
12:11:48 AM:  <Wendy19> this guy
12:11:58 AM:  <Wendy19> in the lab
12:11:59 AM:              Squibby wonders what the big deal about Wendy is.
12:12:16 AM: <BrainWorm> Samrod dosen't have a Ferrari Wendy19.
12:12:24 AM:  <Wendy19> no one told me if samuel is black?
12:12:30 AM:   <Samrod> who's samuel?
12:12:44 AM: <fGewA> Samuel Big Tool
12:12:45 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy, he's not. He's just a 6'1, 250 pound self propelled penis
12:12:49 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: (Samantha)
12:13:00 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod?!
12:13:10 AM: <fGewA> yeh, you should see him type!
12:13:12 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: Samantha and a rod... u figure it out...
12:13:14 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:  my name isn't Samuel, and I'm not black
12:13:14 AM:  <Wendy19> you are samuel???
12:13:27 AM:  <Wendy19> why did you lie to me???
12:13:27 AM:   <Samrod> my name is Samrod
12:13:29 AM:  <Squibby> hahaha.
12:13:40 AM:              Squibby asked samrod about his name once.
12:13:44 AM:  <Squibby> he got all bent, it was funny.
12:13:32 AM: <FarmerJoe> but ask him if he's a giant penis
12:13:41 AM:  <Wendy19> does anyone know how to make my list longer?
12:13:42 AM:   <Samrod> huh?  Who told you I was black and named Samuel?
12:13:56 AM:   <MeCool> Samrod: u lying bastard!
12:13:59 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:  can you show me your code?
12:14:12 AM:   <MeCool> first the code... then ur bra... watch out
12:14:13 AM: <FarmerJoe> wendy, samrod is a renoun pervert and liar
12:14:17 AM: <fGewA> she ASKED if you were black, samgod
12:14:30 AM:   <Samrod> can't believe how everyone in here instantly regressed to 12 years old
12:14:33 AM:   <Samrod> fascinating
12:14:40 AM: <fGewA> cool, now you're among your peers
12:14:42 AM:   <MeCool> Samrod: I am 12!
12:14:45 AM:  <Squibby> no really samrod, that's your real name?
12:14:54 AM:   <Samrod> yes, Samrod is my real name
12:14:54 AM:  <Wendy19> Samrod: i have a list               days=['one','two'];
12:15:06 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:  I mean can you show me your code online?
12:15:13 AM:  <Wendy19> internet?
12:15:49 AM: <vetteman> i'll show you my "code" if you show me yours
12:15:14 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: if u mentioned the list before i wouldve known what u were talking
12:15:32 AM:  <Wendy19> mecool???? it was first thing i said!
12:16:04 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: sorry mustve overlooked it... im getting a bit hard of seeing, ask
    Samrod, at the retirement village we both tease eachother about such things
12:16:04 AM:  <Wendy19> maybe i should go and use google
12:16:15 AM: <fGewA> search for "Samuel Big Tool"
12:16:16 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy, just don't google 'samrod'
12:16:28 AM:   <etorix> wendy-try mozilla
12:17:14 AM:   <etorix> Mozilla 131 for MacOS 9 - http://wamcom.org/20030624/macos9/
12:16:13 AM:  <Squibby> you guys are pathetic. I can't believe how out of control you get when a
    female enters the channel.
12:16:33 AM:  <Squibby> why waste your effort? everyone knows I'm the hottest guy here. you
    shouldn't even bother competing. ;)
12:16:29 AM:  <Wendy19> what is samrod?
12:16:40 AM: <fGewA> we've been trying to figure that out for years
12:17:00 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:    days.split(1, 3, ['1.25', '1.5', '1.75'])
12:17:19 AM:   <MeCool> Samrod: is that for the list?
12:17:21 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  I'm a regular guy with a ton of JavaScript experience
12:17:25 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod i just paste that in?
12:17:30 AM:  <Wendy19> ???
12:17:49 AM:   <MeCool> Samrod: regular?! now your being modest!
12:18:06 AM: <fGewA> he's not regular unless he takes his Metamucil
12:18:11 AM: <fGewA> (R)
12:18:12 AM:   <MeCool> lol
12:18:17 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:  well here's how it works:     arrayName.split( index,
    numberOfElementsToAdd, [element1, element2, elmentN])
12:18:19 AM:  <Wendy19> what does samrod mean?
12:18:21 AM:  <Wendy19> ?
12:18:28 AM: <FarmerJoe> samuel big tool
12:18:41 AM: <FarmerJoe> indian name, Zuni if Im not mistaken
12:18:42 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: what does your name mean?
12:18:48 AM:   <Samrod> um...  it's my name, I think traditionally it meant god of thought and
12:18:46 AM: <vetteman> she's trying to write java>
12:18:50 AM: <fGewA> vetteman - JS
12:18:57 AM: <vetteman> fuck that
12:18:59 AM:   <Samrod> vetteman: +Script
12:19:05 AM: <vetteman> java is such crap
12:19:11 AM: <fGewA> Java is irrelevant
12:19:14 AM: <fGewA> this is JavaSCRIPT
12:19:12 AM:   <MeCool> leave java alone!
12:19:30 AM:   <MeCool> J2ME?
12:19:14 AM:  <Wendy19> this is confusing
12:19:27 AM: <fGewA> wendy - you think YOU'RE confused! think of poor vetteman!
12:19:38 AM:              burp621 giggles
12:19:44 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  join #WendyJS
12:19:54 AM:  <Wendy19> what is #wendyjs?
12:20:00 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy, make sure he has his pants on before you do
12:20:07 AM:   <Samrod> just type /join #wendyjs
12:20:08 AM: <vetteman> my problem is trying to follow the channel and watch GGW at the same time
12:20:17 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod why?
12:20:29 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod what about my list?
12:20:30 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy, he's going to try to molest you
12:20:31 AM:   <Samrod> so I can help you without all these idiots getting in the way
12:20:37 AM:  <Squibby> he wants to lend you a rod, I mean a hand
12:20:39 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy19:  like FarmerJoe
12:20:40 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: Never joina  channel alone!
12:20:40 AM:  <Wendy19> help me with my list?
12:20:44 AM:  <burp621> He's going to give you 'private lessons'  :-p
12:20:46 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  YES
12:20:54 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  just type it...
12:20:56 AM:  <burp621> ...hubba hubba
12:21:00 AM:  <Wendy19> what does farmer joe mean? i didn't know farmers were programmers?!
12:21:10 AM: <FarmerJoe> so now I'm an idiot?
12:21:17 AM: <vetteman> hahahha
12:21:23 AM:              burp621 giggles
12:21:23 AM: <fGewA> just remember, joe
12:21:34 AM: <fGewA> in the valley of the blind man, the one-eyed men are kings
12:21:51 AM:   <Samrod> ok, this isn't working, yer all being dumbasses
12:22:22 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  first of all, you can't add items to arrays in Internet Explorer,
    only Netscape
12:22:30 AM:  <burp621> Samrod: It's what we do... it's in our job description  :-p
12:22:31 AM: <vetteman> in the valley of ginas the one eyed snake is king
12:22:31 AM:  <Wendy19> hello??
12:22:35 AM:  <Wendy19> can anyone read me?
12:22:46 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  when I say "array" it means list
12:22:54 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod is confusing me
12:22:57 AM:  <Wendy19> can someone help m e
12:23:05 AM:              burp621 suddenly feels like he's back on 'Citezens band'
12:23:05 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  I am helping you, and everyone else is trying to mess it up
12:23:14 AM:  <Squibby> you're just confusing her samrod.
12:23:16 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod i do not believ eyou
12:23:16 AM: <vetteman> someone warez wendy a copy of frontpage.....
12:23:29 AM: <FarmerJoe> Samrod, you pervert! stop trying to hit on her
12:23:31 AM:  <Wendy19> i don't like samrods nickname
12:23:32 AM:              burp621 giggles
12:23:35 AM:  <Wendy19> can someone help me
12:23:38 AM:  <Squibby> samrod: speak english to her, not tech babble.
12:23:44 AM:  <Squibby> hahahahahahahaha
12:23:52 AM:              Squibby hugs wendy
12:24:12 AM:  <Squibby> <Wendy19> i don't like samrods nickname
12:24:19 AM:  <Squibby> that's classic. I love it.
12:24:01 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: your the first girl to say that!
12:24:12 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  ok... you can NOT add/remove items from lists in IE that easily, it
    requires a bunch of extra JavaScript code, but it's very easy in Netscape
12:24:12 AM:  <Wendy19> how do you know?!
12:24:21 AM: <BrainWorm> Wendy19 is a good girl.
12:24:31 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  because I coded JavaScript for like 4 years
12:24:44 AM:  <Wendy19> you made code out of javascript?
12:25:14 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  I wrote JavaScript
12:25:24 AM: <fGewA> samgod - YOU WROTE JAVASCRIPT?!?!?!
12:25:26 AM:  <Wendy19> samrod made javascript?
12:24:50 AM:  <Wendy19> i just want to make my photos on my home page
12:25:01 AM: <fGewA> you need a camera for that, wendy
12:25:11 AM:  <Wendy19> i have jpgs i have made
12:25:15 AM: <fGewA> oh good
12:25:18 AM:  <Wendy19> with iphoto on my apple
12:24:52 AM:   <MeCool> lol
12:25:24 AM: <vetteman> naked jpegs of helen keller?
12:24:56 AM:   <Samrod> Squibby:  that's only a glimpse of my real life
12:25:00 AM:   <MeCool> sorry was thinking of a joke
12:25:00 AM: <vetteman> wendy, are you a retard?
12:25:01 AM: <FarmerJoe> wendy, he did not. He works at McDonalds as a deep fat fryer tech
12:25:25 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: can we see the photos ;)
12:25:29 AM: <FarmerJoe> Wendy, don't send Samrod your pics. he'll wack off to em
12:25:31 AM:  <Wendy19> why can't he help me!?!!
12:25:41 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  I am trying to help you
12:25:41 AM: <fGewA> wendy - first he must learn to help himself
12:25:43 AM:   <etorix> Wendy-get  Mozilla 131 for MacOS 9 - http://wamcom.org/20030624/macos9/
12:26:15 AM:  <Wendy19> etorix i have no mouse!
12:25:46 AM:   <MeCool> Wendy19: Samrod also has photos he made... $2.95 a month and you can see
12:25:49 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  either you're not listening or I don't know what
12:26:06 AM: <FarmerJoe> Samrod, you have her afraid dewd
12:26:12 AM:              BrainWorm is about to fall on the floor.
12:26:14 AM: <vetteman> what are they pics of Wendy?????
12:26:17 AM:   <Samrod> Wendy:  and all these guys are just being annoying
12:26:17 AM:  <Wendy19> lol
12:26:21 AM: <fGewA> she's spooked. you need to calm her down
12:26:37 AM:  <Wendy19> i am in the lab and there is no apple, just unix?
12:26:53 AM: <vetteman> you're asking us?
12:26:52 AM:   <MeCool> and u made code?
12:26:57 AM:   <MeCool> on IE on unix?
12:27:13 AM:   <Samrod> MeCool:  M$ actually did release an IE beta for Solaris
12:27:05 AM: <fGewA> ah, so you have the secret UNIX verison of IE that DOES support list-splitting
12:26:55 AM:   <Samrod> know what, I bet she's not even a girl, it's one of you guys just fucking w/
12:27:07 AM:  <Wendy19> i can't show photographs without my internet page
12:27:10 AM: <FarmerJoe> Q
12:27:16 AM:    Server: Mode change "+b *!*moider@*.sporkism.org" on #macintosh by kriptik
12:27:17 AM:    Server: Wendy19 was kicked off #macintosh by kriptik (kriptik)
12:27:19 AM: <vetteman> sure you can
12:27:27 AM:  <burp621> BIATCH!
12:27:30 AM: <FarmerJoe> good move kriptik, she was annoying
12:27:31 AM: <vetteman> HAHAHA!
12:27:39 AM:   <MeCool> noooo
12:27:43 AM:   <MeCool> let her back in!
12:27:44 AM:   <Samrod> yesssss
12:27:47 AM:  <burp621> Good eye silly Kiwi
12:28:10 AM:   <MeCool> i was procrastinating so well then!
12:28:45 AM: <fGewA> I think we should let her back in and ask her for the secret UNIX version of IE
12:29:07 AM: <FarmerJoe> naw, leave her out in the cold, let Samrod chase her down and deflower her
12:29:14 AM:   <etorix> she did say apple
12:29:23 AM: <fGewA> etorix - also UNIX
12:29:31 AM: <fGewA> 12:26:37 AM:  <Wendy19> i am in the lab and there is no apple, just unix?
12:29:44 AM:   <etorix> ahh
12:29:57 AM:  <Squibby> fg is gonna cyberscore, woo hoo.
12:30:11 AM: <fGewA> wha huh?
12:30:58 AM:   <MeCool> fuk... the convo has died since she left
12:31:31 AM:  <burp621> When the hot chick leaves, the conversation often turns to "Hey, what're you
12:31:46 AM:  <Squibby> how do we know she was hot? was there pictures invovled here?
12:32:03 AM: <fGewA> well, yeh. it was for a photo album
12:32:07 AM: <fGewA> (so she said)
[the msg side of the conversation. submitted by... well, Wendy19. ;) ]
00:03             -!-| Irssi: Starting query in Undernet with Samrod
00:03         Samrod | can you show me your code?
00:03         Samrod | and ignore everyone else, they're trying to make me look bad
00:06         Samrod | splice(index, howMany, [element1][, ..., ..., ...])
00:11         Samrod | can you see this?
00:11         Samrod | you can't read this?
00:28         Samrod | are you still there?  IF you can see this type   /msg samrod and reply
00:28        Wendy19 | hello?!
00:28         Samrod | hey...   so you can msg me
00:28        Wendy19 | the macintosh window has gone?!
00:28         Samrod | I was really trying to help you but they were trying to screw things up
00:28        Wendy19 | what are you here for?
00:29         Samrod | they kicked you out... you seem like a newbie
00:29         Samrod | we just hang out here for fun, chat, discuss Mac and tech issues
00:30        Wendy19 | what did i do
00:30        Wendy19 | :~~~~~~~(((
00:30        Wendy19 | omg that is bad
00:30         Samrod | nothing, you did nothing wrong, don't worry, they're just
00:30        Wendy19 | can you fix it?!
00:30         Samrod | relax
00:30         Samrod | heh
00:30        Wendy19 | ?!?!!!!
00:30         Samrod | fix what?
00:30         Samrod | do you have a URL?
00:30        Wendy19 | being kicked out?
00:30         Samrod | don't worry, forget about it
00:31         Samrod | what's your URL?
00:31        Wendy19 | my internet page is on my apple, not on my unix account?
00:31        Wendy19 | lol
00:31         Samrod | you're asking me?
00:31        Wendy19 | when it's done
00:31         Samrod | are you a studnet somewhere?
00:31        Wendy19 | it will be on my unix, so then on the internet
00:31        Wendy19 | why do you keep asking me stuff
00:32         Samrod | I have to know exactly what you're doing so I can help you
00:32        Wendy19 | you can make me back in macintosh?
00:32         Samrod | forget about Macintosh, I'll help you right here
00:32         Samrod | and no, I can't
00:32         Samrod | but I can help you
00:32        Wendy19 | but they were helping me!
00:32        Wendy19 | help!
00:32         Samrod | I was helping you, they were trying to make ME look like an idiot
00:33         Samrod | still confused?
00:33        Wendy19 | ok i will tell you what
00:33         Samrod | ok, what?
00:33        Wendy19 | if you can make me back in macintosh
00:33        Wendy19 | i can email you a picture?
00:33        Wendy19 | ok?
00:33         Samrod | a picture of what?
00:33        Wendy19 | lol
00:34        Wendy19 | me of course
00:34         Samrod | oh...  heh, I thought you just needed help, and I know JavaScript better than
    anyone in Macintosh....  why do you want to go back there?
00:34         Samrod | not that I wouldn't want your pic....
00:34        Wendy19 | you wont help me with macintosh?!
00:35         Samrod | I am trying to help you!
00:35        Wendy19 | good, i want macintosh
00:35         Samrod | you asked a JavaScript question
00:35        Wendy19 | then you get picture
00:35         Samrod | what about your list?
00:35        Wendy19 | ??
00:35        Wendy19 | i pasted what you gave me
00:36        Wendy19 | i will try it when i get back to my room
00:36        Wendy19 | now i want macintosh
00:36         Samrod | remember?  You weren't supposed to just paste it, but modify it for what you
00:37        Wendy19 | can you help me with macintosh?
00:37         Samrod | well I'm not an op and don't have the power to let you back in....
00:37        Wendy19 | who does?!
00:37         Samrod | why do you want to go back in?
00:37        Wendy19 | because i have a apple
00:37         Samrod | trust me, they're not gonna let you back
00:37        Wendy19 | i don't trust you
00:37         Samrod | are you in the US?  Is English your native language?
00:38        Wendy19 | i need to get the technical support person to bring macintosh back
00:38         Samrod | is it because of what they all said about me?  They were trying to bother me,
    that's it
00:38        Wendy19 | you don't want my photo huh :(
00:38         Samrod | huh....  you're killing me
00:38        Wendy19 | ?????
00:38         Samrod | you're not making it easy to help you
00:39         Samrod | relax... take a breath, and listen to me
00:39         Samrod | what I told you was only an example and only for Netscape, not Internet
00:39        Wendy19 | what about macintosh?
00:40        Wendy19 | i have javascript now, from before
00:40         Samrod | right, and I'm trying to help you in JavaScript
00:40        Wendy19 | but i don't need help!
00:40        Wendy19 | i need macintosh
00:40         Samrod | is there anything special about your picture that I should see?
00:40        Wendy19 | no, forget it
00:40         Samrod | yeah right, like those idiots will help you, good luck
00:40        Wendy19 | you are a bad man
00:41         Samrod | I have a Mac, actually 2 of them in fact, I can answer any question you have
00:41         Samrod | but you're not letting me answer your questions
00:41         Samrod | bad man?  I am trying to HELP you
00:41        Wendy19 | with macintosh?
00:41         Samrod | I am NOT trying to flirt with you (unless YOU want to), but I'm trying to
00:41         Samrod | yes, Macintosh and JavaScript, whichever you need help with
00:42        Wendy19 | the macintosh chat room?!?!!
00:42         Samrod | you want me to help you with your Macintosh or help get you back into the
    chat room?
00:42        Wendy19 | my apple is good
00:42         Samrod | good
00:42        Wendy19 | but i want to be in macintosh chat room
00:43         Samrod | ok, if you want, all I can do is ask them to let you back in, how's that?
00:43        Wendy19 | ok?
 00:43        Wendy19 | lol
00:43        Wendy19 | you can have my picture if i can be back
00:43         Samrod | heh...   ok, I'll do my best but remember, it's their decision
00:44         Samrod | if they let you in, I bet they'll start making things up about me again
00:45        Wendy19 | making things up?!
00:45         Samrod | yeah, they were saying "Wendy, be careful, he wants to molest you"
00:46         Samrod | and I think you were believing it because now you seem freaked out by me
00:46         Samrod | so I still get your picture if I let you in right?
00:47         Samrod | hello?
00:47        Wendy19 | ??
00:47        Wendy19 | yes i said so!
00:47         Samrod | ok, then type /join #macintosh and return to the channel
00:48        Wendy19 | join #macintosh
00:48         Samrod | no, type it with a slash:    /join #macintosh
00:49         Samrod | see, I did it
00:49         Samrod | why do I scare you?
00:51         Samrod | [samgod's email address deleted]
00:54        Wendy19 | samrod
00:55        Wendy19 | now i have lost macintosh again
00:55         Samrod | no one kicked you out, you're still in here........    and you lied about
    your picture
00:56        Wendy19 | ???
00:56         Samrod | my address is [samgod's email address deleted] and you didn't send me
00:58         Samrod | hello?  you there still?
00:58        Wendy19 | i didn't have your address
00:58        Wendy19 | i am having trouble with pine
00:58         Samrod | now you do:  [samgod's email address deleted]
00:59         Samrod | I don't think you can send it using Pine
00:59        Wendy19 | the guy showed me yesterday =)
01:02         Samrod | kriptik kicked you out again
01:03         Samrod | well?  What's going on now?
01:05         Samrod | ask the lab assistant to help you send the pic
01:07        Wendy19 | email?
01:07         Samrod | [samgod's email address deleted]
01:07        Wendy19 | i sent it before
01:08         Samrod | somehow I think you're a joke
01:08        Wendy19 | :D

Quote #46

Wed, Aug 13, 2003
12:57:55 AM:  <thenoid> cany somebody please help me, i don't know what i did in os X but when i
    rebooted and X loaded back up my desktop was like i had just installed the os X, how can i get X
    to boot with my old desktop and settings?
01:02:17 AM: <fGewA> thenoid - look in home/Library
01:03:31 AM: <fGewA> thenoid - do you see any folders whose name is similar to 'Preferences',
    besides the Preferences folder?
01:02:34 AM:   <Samrod> heh, he just called someone "thenoid"
01:02:40 AM: <fGewA> yeh, I called thenoid thenoid
01:02:43 AM: <fGewA> what's odd about that?
01:02:52 AM:   <Samrod> uh...    um, nevermind

Quote #47

Sat, Aug 23, 2003
02:33:57 AM:   <Samrod> I'll give you this, for a totally normal guy, I guess I can be considered
    somewhat eccentric
[time passes.]
02:35:45 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: don't get testy
02:35:59 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth: heh, testies?  TESTIES????????
02:36:11 AM:  <ramoth4> See, I knew that was coming
02:36:14 AM: <fGewA> remember, folks...
02:36:18 AM: <fGewA> samgod is Totally Normal.
02:36:24 AM:     <d`oh> *

Quote #48

Sat, Aug 30, 2003
[submitted by Ben-]
<Samrod> so this morning I woke up w/ some "friends" in bed...  and to be honest, ants on yer shlong
    can actually feel pretty damn good early in the morn'
<Samrod> this doesn't mean I'm into beastiality right?
<haroon> Samrod: ants are the gateway animal to bigger ones
<Samrod> bullshit!
<Samrod> dude, yer a freak....   I don't think ants giving me a stiffy is anything near animal sex
<haroon> if you have an ant problem.. where they actually end up on your cock
<haroon> that's a frightening hygiene issue
<Samrod> although the thought of some or all of those ants being male has made me uncomfortable all
<Samrod> haroon:  well, not just on my cock, this morning they were all over my bed
<Samrod> kinda felt like a whole body massage
<Samrod> heh, weird feeling
<Samrod> so I'm thinking dealing w/ ants is a HELL of a lot than with human females
<piv> ants are great
<piv> they chase bread you leave behind
<Samrod> piv:  so you've had ants on yer shlong to?  Does it feel good or what?
<Samrod> the only fear/concern is that there's a hole there, and the thought of one of those
    critters getting curious scared the shit outta me and out FLEW outta bed
<piv> rod, may i call you that? ive had everything except the maglight shell on my desk on my
<Samrod> Samrod, not rod
<Samrod> not sam
<piv> sr?
<Samrod> heh
<Samrod> uh...  y not just Samrod?
<Ben-> but the mere fact that there were little creatures crawling on your schlong was not
    disturbing enough a concept for you to have done so already?
<piv> sammyr?
<Samrod> Ben-:  no because it felt good at first until i thought of 2 things:  they may find the
    hole, 2) some of them are male
<Samrod> piv: not sammy

Quote #49

Sun, Aug 31, 2003
[submitted by kriptik. he says this happened in #macworld.]
 20:36         Samrod | you are quite cryptic
 20:36         Samrod | wow, I just realized what kriptik's name means

Quote #50

Thu, Sep 25, 2003
10:05:19 PM:    Server: Topic for #macintosh: 3:10: <magn0lia> "chix" don't feel all one way about
    something.  ||  3:11: <Samrod> oh yeah, that's one thing they hate, being grouped together

Quote #51

Thu, Sep 25, 2003
10:52:49 PM: <fGewA> http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/samgod.txt
[UPDATE 2006-09-06: The URL has changed. It is now http://boredzo.org/irc/samgod.txt .]
[time passes]
10:58:06 PM: <Chiper> fGewA: this samrod file is hillarious
10:58:21 PM: <fGewA> chiper - indeed
10:58:52 PM:   <Samrod> samrod file?
10:59:03 PM:   <Chiper> Samrod: above url
10:59:08 PM: <fGewA> samgod - the SGF
10:59:17 PM: <fGewA> you've seen it before. have you forgotten about it already? :P
10:59:18 PM:   <Samrod> oh
10:59:34 PM:   <Samrod> why don't I see a URL above?
10:59:43 PM: <fGewA> you're wearing X-ray goggles?

Quote #52

Thu, Sep 25, 2003
10:56:29 PM:   <Samrod> what's the title of the Cure song that goes "Show show show me how you do
    that trick, the one that makes me scream she said, the one that makes me laugh she said, threw
    her arms around my neck"
10:58:28 PM: <magn0lia> is that "Catch"?
10:59:05 PM: <magn0lia> Samrod, believe it's Catch
11:00:44 PM:   <Samrod> magz:  what's Catch?
11:00:57 PM:   <Samrod> damn I'm confused
11:01:24 PM: <magn0lia> Samrod, you are hopeless!
11:01:33 PM:   <Samrod> mag:  yes I am, but what's Catch?
11:01:36 PM: <magn0lia> Samrod, hint: I was answering a question you asked 1 minute before
11:01:59 PM:   <Samrod> OH!!!

Quote #53

Tue, Sep 30, 2003
11:49:51 PM:   <Samrod> for some reason, the word anal reminds me of the word floss

Quote #54

Wed, Oct 08, 2003
[day after the California election.]
01:12:07 AM:   <Samrod> I made a pretty good fool outta myself at work today
01:12:33 AM: <fGewA> samgod - how? you bet on Chuck?
01:13:04 AM:              fGewA ponders, btw, who got the reference
01:13:17 AM:   <Samrod> we have a whole buncha email aliases at work, everything from an internal
    ebay, mac stuff, politics, soccer, etc... (one's even called etc)
01:14:26 AM:   <Samrod> and I often participate and post to the "life" email alias, where we debate
    mostly politics and social issues all day, and these debates go on and evolve and stuff
01:15:01 AM: <fGewA> samgod - and you bet on Chuck?
01:15:59 AM:   <Samrod> so in the confusing of the whole thing, when replies get really long with
    many levels of quotes and stuff, I happened to have replied, and even debated this guy's
    postition, totally ripped his argument apart... did a pretty damn good job of it even...
01:16:19 AM: <Samrod> fGewA: I don't get the Chuck reference
01:16:24 AM: <fGewA> samgod - Maniac Mansion
01:16:31 AM: <fGewA> Chuck was a semi-sentient plant in the mansion
01:16:48 AM: <fGewA> and later, Chuck appeared in Indy 3 (the game)
01:16:46 AM:   <Samrod> the ONLY issue, and this was a pretty big issue which make dozens and dozens
    of people break into laughter all day...
01:17:35 AM:   <Samrod> was that I had replied and passionately debated this "guy's" argument, only
    I didn't realize I was replying, and tearing up MY OWN EMAIL
01:18:31 AM:   <Samrod> this "guy" I debated was me, and I argued against my own argument, taking
    the other side, without realizing I was reading what I had already written earlier in the day
01:18:52 AM:  <Strider> Samrod: damn, that musta been some good crack you were smoking
01:18:56 AM:   <Samrod> heh
01:19:30 AM:   <Samrod> it wouldn't have been that bad if it wasn't the second most popular email
    alias at a company with over 600 people
01:20:01 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: ahh, so now everyone at your workplace knows what we knew years ago
01:20:16 AM:   <Samrod> also wouldn't be that bad if I didn't argue a point totally opposed to a
    point I made earlier
01:20:21 AM:   <Samrod> heh
01:21:53 AM:   <Samrod> the way I found out wasn't even fun....   I just noticed the guy behind me
    starting to laugh harder & harder, and then the guy next to him, and they both turned around and
    were like "are you for real?  You need help..."  so the only thing I could do was to reply to
    myself again and say "why don't you two just get over this and get a life"
01:23:10 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: hahah
01:23:15 AM:  <ramoth4> great way to save face
01:23:18 AM:  <ramoth4> :)
01:23:30 AM:   <Samrod> I was SOL
01:23:44 AM:   <Samrod> don't even wanna know how many of the cuties at work must've read that
01:24:06 AM:  <kriptik> Samrod: all i have to say is AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
01:24:14 AM:  <kriptik> but i've been drinking
01:24:20 AM:  <kriptik> so my laughter could be misplaced
01:24:15 AM: <fGewA> I've actually almost done that a couple times. not replying to myself, but
    still nearly countering my own arguments
01:24:30 AM: <fGewA> it's at that point that I admit I was wrong, because even I don't agree with me
01:24:33 AM:   <Samrod> heh
01:24:17 AM:   <Samrod> then others started replying to their own previous emails, and debating
    opposing points of view but just for laughs
01:24:47 AM: <fGewA> kriptik - I doubt it
01:25:02 AM:  <kriptik> send another email
01:25:04 AM:  <kriptik> from yourself
01:25:06 AM:  <kriptik> to yourself
01:25:10 AM:  <kriptik> calling yourself a dork
01:25:14 AM:  <kriptik> that'll sort it
01:25:14 AM: <fGewA> he did
01:25:16 AM: <fGewA> sort of
01:25:21 AM:  <kriptik> i know i mean
01:25:22 AM:  <kriptik> a third
01:25:26 AM:  <kriptik> BE THREE PEOPLE
01:25:26 AM: <fGewA> yes
01:25:30 AM: <fGewA> that's what he did. sort of
01:25:39 AM: <fGewA> 'the only thing I could do was to reply to myself again and say "why don't you
    two just get over this and get a life"' --samgod
01:25:31 AM:  <ramoth4> omg... samrod started a trend
01:25:35 AM:  <ramoth4> BE THREEEEEEEEEE
01:25:33 AM:   <haroon> you could send another e-mail to yourself saying you think you're gay
01:25:38 AM:   <haroon> but they probably wouldn't get the joke
01:25:34 AM:  <kriptik> oh well
01:25:36 AM:  <kriptik> I AM A TARD
01:25:41 AM:  <kriptik> i am going to drink
01:25:50 AM:   <Samrod> heh...
01:26:10 AM:  <ramoth4> you should post this to the list, sam
01:26:37 AM:   <Samrod> problem was I was falling asleep today at work while writing the first email
    (sound familiar?)
01:26:50 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Yeah :p
01:26:57 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:   HA!  YEAH RIGHT, that'll get me fired
01:27:06 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Did you have an exhasust pipe up your sleeve?
01:27:14 AM:   <Samrod> heh
01:27:15 AM:   <Samrod> no
01:27:21 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: you could reply to yourself and say "dude, you're gonna get fired
    for that"
01:27:32 AM:   <Samrod> I don't even know how I'll walk around the office tomorrow

Quote #55

Tue, Oct 21, 2003
[after some of the other regulars had been posing as samgod.]
12:00:29 AM:    Server: Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
12:00:32 AM:  <ramoth4> hahahahahha
12:00:34 AM:  <ramoth4> ohhh man
12:00:35 AM:  <ramoth4> :D
12:00:47 AM:  <ramoth4> it's the 'rodster
12:01:07 AM:   <haroon> bring back the other one already
12:01:12 AM:  <ramoth4> lol
12:03:08 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: you there?
12:03:17 AM:   <Samrod> unfortunately
12:06:18 AM: <fGewA> hey, it's the real samgod
12:07:45 AM:   <Samrod> no, I'm the fake samrod
12:09:09 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: wtf?
12:09:20 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  wtf what?
12:09:18 AM: <fGewA> so now samgod is pretending to be samgod
12:09:27 AM: <fGewA> wow, what a popular pastime it's becoming
12:09:33 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
12:09:33 AM:   <Samrod> what are you guys talking about?
12:09:44 AM: <fGewA> OHHH. all is revealed
12:09:46 AM: <fGewA> 12:09:33 AM:    Server: Samrod is
    ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
12:09:46 AM:   <Samrod> am I missing something?
12:09:52 AM: <fGewA> it's Kevin Bacon pretending to be samgod!
12:09:55 AM:   <Samrod> Kevin Bacon?  WTF?

Quote #56

Tue, Oct 21, 2003
[kriptik was imitating samgod as 'Samrod2'.]
12:31:51 AM: <fGewA> URL for the Samgod File-> http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/samgod.txt
[UPDATE 2006-09-06: The URL has changed. It is now http://boredzo.org/irc/samgod.txt .]
12:31:52 AM:   <Samrod> krip:  you could've done this when I'm actually more involved in the
    channel, now i'm somewhere else and missed what just went on
12:32:03 AM: <fGewA> samgod - scroll-bars are your friends
12:32:30 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  thank you, I've never actually had my own personal stenographer
[time passes, during which kriptik was doing his impression.]
12:32:42 AM:    Server: Samrod2 has left #macintosh (<Samrod> yeah, the 5 dildoes on each feet?)
12:33:25 AM:  <kriptik> hi
12:33:50 AM: <fGewA> kriptik! <sarcastic> where've you been all this time? </sarcastic>
12:34:06 AM:   <Samrod> hahaaa...   krip:  now THAT sounds like something I'd say "5 dildoes on each
    feet"?  Only I don't think I'd ever say something that fucked up
12:34:12 AM:   <Samrod> but good try
12:34:13 AM:   <Samrod> heh
12:34:14 AM: <fGewA> samgod - you did
12:34:29 AM:   <Samrod> what?  when?
12:34:38 AM: <fGewA> on 22 July
12:34:53 AM:     <d`oh> samrod you are as articulate as a camel
12:34:53 AM: <fGewA> [paste from this file]
12:35:00 AM:   <Samrod> see what I mean about the personal stenographer thing?  wow
12:35:26 AM:   <Samrod> does that even make sense?

Quote #57

Mon, Oct 27, 2003
02:07:56 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  I got sick of my freakin imagination when all my imaginary chicks
    started rejecting me to

Quote #58

Tue, Oct 28, 2003
[submitted by kriptik]
16:18         Samrod | krip:  OH NO!!!  That hurts me SOO much, I'm gonna cry
16:18 @      kriptik | i don't think you are doing a very good job
16:19 @        Twist | Samrod: So people will go to work in the mornings like
                       good little proles?
16:19         Samrod | krip:  you have a habbit of rejecting anything you
                       disagree with, and that's fine with me
16:19         Samrod | Twist:  proles?
16:19 @        Twist | proletariat
16:19 @      kriptik | Samrod: uhm, 'rejecting anything you disagree with'
16:19         Samrod | krip:  yes
16:19 @      kriptik | Samrod: uhm? a duh?
16:19 @        Twist | haha
16:19 @      kriptik | of course i reject anything i disagree with
16:19 @      kriptik | you fucktard
16:20 @        Twist | excuse me.. I'll just be on the floor.
16:20 @        Twist | *thump*

Quote #59

Thu, Oct 30, 2003
11:56:50 PM: <Samrod> fGewa:  where the hell is abeyance?
11:56:56 PM:    Server: abeyance is ~abey@cpe-66-27-219-33.socal.rr.com (abeyance)
11:56:59 PM: <fGewA> southern california
11:57:14 PM: <fGewA> or at least, his computer is
11:57:13 PM: <Samrod> fGewA:  tell him I MUST speak to him NOW
11:57:20 PM: <fGewA> abeyance isn't here
11:57:31 PM:   <Samrod> I can /whois him
11:57:40 PM: <fGewA> so can I. in fact, I did
11:57:50 PM: <fGewA> how did you think I knew he was in socal? (....rr.com)
11:57:58 PM: <Samrod> fGewA: good, so u can tell him
11:58:05 PM: <fGewA> how could I do that?
11:58:15 PM: <Samrod> fGewA: because he's told us
11:58:32 PM: <fGewA> if he's told you, then he already knows and I don't need to tell him anything
11:58:27 PM:   <Samrod> or you could've mapped his IP
11:58:45 PM:   <Chiper> Samrod: you're not making much sense
11:58:49 PM: <fGewA> I just looked at the hostname. the hostname that says 'socal.rr.com'
11:58:58 PM: <fGewA> deep magic, no? no.
11:59:18 PM: <Samrod> fGewA:  he's told us he's in SoCal, but I need you to tell him I need to speak
    to him, thanks
11:59:01 PM:    Server: Samrod is ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
11:59:30 PM: <fGewA> what you need is irrelevant. I cannot tell him anything, Kevin Bacon

Quote #60

Tue, Nov 04, 2003
[submitted by kriptik. all this happened in private message. at the time, samgod was banned from
22:47         Samrod | dude, how about you unban me, like now
22:48        kriptik | only if you do '20 bottles of beer on the wall' down to zero
22:48        kriptik | in private message
22:48         Samrod | heh
22:48         Samrod | hahaa
22:49         Samrod | you know, that's somewhat of a perverted thing to do in private
22:49        kriptik | do it
22:52         Samrod | 20 bottle of beer on the wall, 20 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 19 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:52         Samrod | 19 bottle of beer on the wall, 19 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 18 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:53         Samrod | 18 bottles of beer on the wall, 18 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 17 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:53         Samrod | 17 bottles of beer on the wall, 17 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 16 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:53         Samrod | 16 bottles of beer on the wall, 16 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 15 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:54         Samrod | 15 bottles of beer on the wall, 15 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 14 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:54         Samrod | 14 bottles of beer on the wall, 14 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 13 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:54         Samrod | 13 bottles of beer on the wall, 13 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 12 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:55         Samrod | 12 bottles of beer on the wall, 12 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 11 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:55         Samrod | 11 bottles of beer on the wall, 11 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass
    it around, 10 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:55         Samrod | 10 bottles of beer on the wall, 10 bottles of beer, you take one down pass it
    around, 9 bottles of beer on the wall
22:55         Samrod | /msg kriptik 9 bottles of beer on the wall, 9 bottles of beer, you take one
    down, pass it around, 8 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:56        kriptik | redo that line
22:56         Samrod | 9 bottles of beer on the wall, 9 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 8 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:56         Samrod | 8 bottles of beer on the wall, 8 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 7 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:56         Samrod | 7 bottles of beer on the wall, 7 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 6 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:57         Samrod | 6 bottles of beer on the wall, 6 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 5 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:57         Samrod | 5 bottles of beer on the wall, 5 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 4 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:57         Samrod | 4 bottles of beer on the wall, 4 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 3 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:57         Samrod | 3 bottles of beer on the wall, 3 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 2 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:58         Samrod | 2 bottles of beer on the wall, 2 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, 1 bottles of beer on the wall.
22:58         Samrod | 1 bottles of beer on the wall, 1 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it
    around, no more bottles of beer on the wall.
22:59        kriptik | and..
22:59         Samrod | Happy Birthday to you...   Happy Birthday TO you....
22:59         Samrod | wasn't that fun?!

Quote #61

Thu, Nov 13, 2003
12:06:51 AM:   <Samrod> Penelope Cruz is mouthwatering
12:07:05 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
12:07:21 AM: <fGewA> samgod - do you think she's all that interested in Kevin Bacon?
12:08:03 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  what's with you and this kevon bacon
12:08:15 AM: <fGewA> what's with YOU and this Kevin Bacon?
12:08:18 AM: <fGewA> 12:07:05 AM:    Server: Samrod is
    ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
12:08:22 AM: <magn0lia> Samrod's just trying to improve his six-degrees score
12:09:25 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  is this some kind of ShadowIRC bug/feature that replaces user names w/
    Kevin Bacon?
12:09:53 AM: <fGewA> samgod - I think it's a ShadowIRC feature that accepts what users put into
    their real-name fields. in any case, have you updated to 2.0a8?
12:10:11 AM: <fGewA> oh yeh, I suggested you wait
12:11:41 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  btw, I've changed that damn real name field too many damn times, and
    apparently, it keeps reverting to Kevin Bacon
12:12:00 AM: <fGewA> samgod - why did you set it to Kevin Bacon in the first place?
12:12:15 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  I think it defaulted to that
12:12:39 AM: <fGewA> ShadowIRC's defaults are NewUser/New_User!shadowirc@... (ShadowIRC <version>)
12:12:43 AM: <fGewA> and they always have been
12:12:16 AM: <fGewA> anyway, have you been using the Save Preferences command
12:12:35 AM:   <Samrod> uh....   dunno
12:12:54 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  besides, what the hell should I use as the real name?
12:13:19 AM: <fGewA> well, your real name is one idea. or you could just put any random text
12:13:49 AM:   <Samrod> that's so damn hard!
12:13:54 AM: <fGewA> it is?
12:14:06 AM:   <Samrod> I'll just end up staring at that field for hours
12:14:09 AM:   <haroon> put "I'm a 14 year old girl, LOL"
12:14:21 AM: <fGewA> haroon - and it's true! (sort of)
12:14:21 AM:   <Samrod> haroon:  actually, that's not a bad idea
12:14:40 AM:   <Samrod> haroon:  only I have the body of a 10 year old girl
12:14:51 AM:   <haroon> cept for the penis
12:15:00 AM:   <Samrod> u noticed
12:15:25 AM: <Samrod> fGewA: ok how's that
12:15:37 AM:   <Samrod> yeah baby!
12:16:01 AM: <fGewA> how's what?
12:16:13 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  when you /whois me
12:16:04 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
12:16:19 AM: <fGewA> 12:16:04 AM:    Server: Samrod is
    ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon)
12:16:26 AM:   <Samrod> wtf?    Shit!
12:16:29 AM:   <Samrod> forgot to change it
12:17:32 AM:    Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a5)
12:23:47 AM:    Server: Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
12:24:06 AM:   <Samrod> ok, how's it now?
12:25:12 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon is a
    14 year old girl! LOL!)
12:25:12 AM:    Server: Samrod is on channels #macintosh
12:25:12 AM:    Server: Samrod is on IRC via *.undernet.org (The Undernet Underworld)
12:25:15 AM:      <AJJ> yes
12:25:19 AM:   <Samrod> in same rare cases, some printers are shipped w/ the wrong gendered guts,
    and feel akward their entire lives
12:25:24 AM: <fGewA> 12:25:12 AM:    Server: Samrod is
    ~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon is a 14 year old girl! LOL!)
12:25:41 AM: <Samrod> fGewa:  better?
12:25:47 AM: <fGewA> mildly

Quote #62

Thu, Nov 13, 2003
12:35:28 AM:    Server: Mode change "+o Samrod" on #macintosh by kriptik
12:35:32 AM:  <ramoth4> oh god
12:35:35 AM:  <ramoth4> we're all fucked

Quote #63

Thu, Nov 13, 2003
01:31:04 AM:   <Samrod> they just totally showed bare breasts on ABC
01:31:10 AM:   <Samrod> holy crap
01:31:33 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: what show
01:31:46 AM: <fGewA> NYPD Blue?
01:32:31 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  Oprah's previews for tomorrow
01:32:42 AM: <fGewA> then that's not ABC, that's KABC
01:32:45 AM: <fGewA> Oprah is syndicated, iirc
01:33:00 AM: <Samrod> fGewA:  right
01:31:16 AM:   <MReedB> big ones?
01:32:09 AM:   <Samrod> MReedB:  yes/no:   it was some 600-800 whatever pound woman who lost all the
    weight, and was maybe 140?  And he boobs sagged down to her hips, or even lower
01:32:27 AM:   <MReedB> heh
01:32:43 AM: <macstibs> that's totally disgusting and uncouth
01:32:50 AM: <macstibs> i LIKE it
01:31:59 AM:   <scruby> brown national geographic style ones (those are okay for tv) or white ones
    (can't show those on tv)
01:32:48 AM:   <Samrod> scruby:  brown
01:33:01 AM:   <scruby> haha, i figured since you mentioned oprah
01:33:03 AM:  <ramoth4> oh so they're not HOT boobs
01:33:15 AM: <fGewA> ramoth - of course they are. this is samgod who's talking
01:33:13 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  well, that's subjective
01:33:17 AM: <fGewA> see?
01:33:28 AM:  <ramoth4> :X

Quote #64

Fri, Nov 14, 2003
02:41:50 AM:   <Samrod> bzar:  well I'm not on "a side"
02:42:14 AM:     <bzar> Samrod: your on your side
02:42:34 AM:   <Samrod> bzar:  no I'm not
02:42:24 AM:   <Samrod> bzar: in fact, you guys tend to be into taking "sides" in every debate in
    here... interesting
02:42:34 AM:     <bzar> Samrod: only when your around.
02:42:56 AM:   <Samrod> who TF is Samrod?
02:42:59 AM:   <Samrod> n/m

Quote #65

Mon, Nov 17, 2003
01:08:33 AM: <BrainWorm> Samrod probabaly has a Ferrari too.
01:08:54 AM: <FarmerJoe> a battery operated one

Quote #66

Fri, Dec 05, 2003
11:29:01 PM:   <MacGOD> Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-152.we.client2.attbi.com) was last seen
    quitting from #macintosh 1 day, 22 hours, 37 minutes ago stating (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a5).
11:30:18 PM:  <ramoth4> he was back yesterday
11:30:20 PM:  <ramoth4> :o
11:31:06 PM: <FarmerJoe> I guess he figured out how to get out of the Neverland ranch

Quote #67

Wed, Jan 07, 2004
11:21:05 PM:    Server: Mode change "+o Samrod" on #macintosh by kriptik
11:21:10 PM:  <ramoth4> we're fucked
11:21:12 PM:  <ramoth4> all fucked.
11:21:18 PM:              ramoth4 jumps off a bridge
11:21:17 PM: <fGewA> Kevin Bacon has an @! AAAAAAH!!!
11:21:30 PM: <Ryo-Ohki> AAAAh

Quote #68

Thu, Jan 08, 2004
12:12:11 AM:   <Samrod> well?
12:13:25 AM: <fGewA> how deep?
12:13:38 AM:   <Samrod> deep what?
12:13:44 AM: <fGewA> deep well.
12:13:53 AM: <TedEBear> how deep is the well.
12:13:49 AM:   <Samrod> oh
12:13:33 AM: <fGewA> (my mom always used that on me.)

Quote #69

Sun, Jan 11, 2004
02:04:35 AM:   <Samrod> I came here for a reason:  so I have my friend's PowerMac G4/450 here, and
    his HD seems to have deceased
02:04:48 AM:   <Samrod> at least according to DFA and DiskWarrior
02:04:55 AM: <fGewA> you want to kill his hard drive?
02:05:54 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  well, it's near or at death already, but he says he's got a buncha
    docs and other important files on there he needs
02:05:24 AM: <TedEBear> samrod: So slap a new one in and reinstall.
02:05:24 AM:   <Samrod> is there ANY way to get some of his files off?
02:05:24 AM:   <Samrod> before re-installing?
02:05:34 AM: <fGewA> you could cook them a romantic dinner
02:06:00 AM: <TedEBear> samrod: http://www.drivesavers.com/ if you're really desperate..
02:06:48 AM:   <Samrod> hmm...
02:06:07 AM:              Ben- is trying to figure out the Kevin Bacon thing.
02:06:14 AM: <fGewA> ben - so we all are
02:07:22 AM:   <Samrod> shit, I think this Sean Connery thing is gonna haunt me forever in here
02:07:30 AM:   <Samrod> FUCK, I mean Kevin Bacon thing
02:07:36 AM: <fGewA> oho
02:07:42 AM: <fGewA> so now you have a Sean Connery thing too?
02:07:52 AM: <fGewA> what's that, your finger response?
02:08:09 AM: <TedEBear> fGewA: Sean Connery is featured on the drivesavers website.

Quote #70

Mon, Jan 12, 2004
04:15:06 AM:   <Samrod> I'm sitting here wondering why this was the most unsatisfactory, tastelss
    bowl of cereal I've ever had
04:15:16 AM:   <Samrod> until I just realized I haven't had it yet
04:15:22 AM:   <Samrod> bastards!
04:15:54 AM:   <Samrod> I just put the cereal box and milk back in the fridge, and now I gotta
    get'em back out again

Quote #71

Mon, Jan 12, 2004
04:18:26 AM:   <Samrod> I think my friend Kevin coined the term "Samrodism"
04:18:44 AM: <fGewA> Kevin? as in Bacon?
04:19:03 AM: <fGewA> 'Samrodism'. I like that

Quote #72

Thu, Feb 19, 2004
01:39:53 AM:    Server: Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
01:40:04 AM: <fGewA> hey, the Bacon's back!
01:40:22 AM:   <kathee> uh huh, it's baaaaaaaaaack :)
01:40:12 AM:   <Icegod> ?
01:40:24 AM: <fGewA> Icegod: for a long time, samgod's whois name was 'Kevin Bacon'
01:40:28 AM:   <Icegod> hahah
01:40:39 AM: <fGewA> still is, sort of-> 01:40:28 AM:    Server: Samrod is
    ~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon is a 14 year old girl! LOL!)
01:40:45 AM: <DaemoniK> LOL
[time passes.]
01:48:09 AM:   <Samrod> um, did you all just follow me in here?
01:48:17 AM: <fGewA> Samrod: no, we were here first
01:48:33 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  WTF?  in #macosx?
01:48:35 AM: <fGewA> no
01:48:48 AM: <fGewA> this is the second time you've joined #macintosh and thought you joined
    somewhere else :)
01:49:02 AM:   <Samrod> I'm in #macintosh right *NOW*?
01:49:14 AM: <fGewA> well, you joined, and you haven't left or been kicked
01:49:16 AM: <fGewA> so yes
01:49:16 AM:   <Samrod> oh
01:49:24 AM:   <Samrod> well damn
01:49:45 AM:   <Samrod> *I* didn't join, this particular IRC client [ShadowIRC --M-A] tends to auto
    join on its own
01:49:51 AM: <fGewA> unless you tell it not to
01:49:58 AM: <grndzero> Right.
01:50:12 AM: <fGewA> because you didn't, you are ultimately responsible for the join
01:50:14 AM: <grndzero> We should probably fix the autoban.
01:50:50 AM:   <Samrod> ah, I see, the #macintosh window was right over the #macosx window, and the
    same size, and I just didn't notice this join

Quote #73

Sat, Mar 06, 2004
03:30:58 AM:    Server: Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
03:31:01 AM:    Server: Samgod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
03:31:14 AM:   <Samrod> Samgod?  Who the hell is that?
03:31:22 AM:   <Samrod> whoami
03:31:25 AM:   <Samrod> fuck
03:31:33 AM:    <dan--> heh
03:31:37 AM:    <dan--> you don't even know who you are?>
03:31:34 AM:    <val1s> he is your master
03:32:00 AM:   <Samrod> could've sworn I was Samrod
03:32:27 AM:   <Samrod> is there both a Samrod and a Samgod in here?
03:33:08 AM:    <dan--> according to my client, yes.
03:33:33 AM:   <Samrod> how's that possible, there's only one of me
03:34:10 AM:    <dan--> so THEY WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE!
03:34:19 AM:   <Samrod> technically, if I only have a single copy of ShadowIRC running, wouldn't
    this require more than one computer?
03:34:27 AM:    <dan--> better put on your tinfoil hat
03:34:50 AM:   <Samrod> oh shit
03:34:51 AM:   <Samrod> wait
03:34:58 AM:   <Samrod>  i do have multiple computers
03:35:04 AM:   <Samrod> and ShadowIRC installed on'em
03:35:08 AM:   <Samrod> brb....
03:35:33 AM:   <Samgod> Samrod:  You dumb ruck
03:35:35 AM:   <Samgod> fuck
03:35:59 AM:   <Samgod> this has been logged into here for hours ya shithead
03:36:08 AM:   <Samrod> Ok, sorry
03:36:20 AM:   <Samgod> yeah, whatever, fucking log me the hell off
03:36:24 AM:   <Samrod> ok
03:36:25 AM:   <Samgod> now
03:36:29 AM:   <Samrod> OK!!!
03:36:33 AM:    Server: Samgod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a5)
03:36:36 AM:    <dan--> hah
03:36:47 AM:   <Samrod> can you say "ASSHOLE"?
03:36:49 AM:    <dan--> dude.  i know some good mental health professionals....
03:37:08 AM:   <Samrod> dan--:  any of'em desperate females in L.A.?
03:37:11 AM:    <dan--> hah
03:37:23 AM:    <val1s> haha
03:37:34 AM:    <dan--> i know lots of females in LA....  desperate...  that's a different story.

Quote #74

Tue, Mar 09, 2004
[submitted by kriptik.]
03:30         Samrod | I flipped open my phone and couldn't figure out how to dial.  God dammnit, I
    just wanna dial.  but I was just to stupid to figure it the hell out

Quote #75

Thu, Mar 11, 2004
01:23:31 AM:   <Samrod> d`oh:  La Jolla doesn't really have a beach?  WTF?  It's known for some of
    the states most beautiful beaches
01:23:41 AM:   <Samrod> or am I smokin' someone?
01:23:47 AM:   <Samrod> -thing

Quote #76

Thu, Mar 11, 2004
01:26:25 AM:   <Samrod> California is the "California" of our country, how beautiful is that?!

Quote #77

Thu, Mar 11, 2004
01:28:29 AM: <TheTaxMan> the IRS is advertising publication 550 for assistance on specific
    securities transactions, and they have yet to  release it.
01:29:43 AM:   <Samrod> TheTanMan:  d(o)(o)d!  Ever been on late-night tanning cream infomercials?!
    U look familiar.
01:30:03 AM:   <Samrod> oh, TaxMan
01:30:24 AM:   <Samrod> TaxMan:  ever been on late-night thumbtax commercials?  You look not at all

Quote #78

Thu, Mar 11, 2004
01:38:12 AM:   <Samrod> fucking mirrors
01:38:34 AM:   <Samrod> ever  noticed how mirrors are the biggest insults?
01:39:06 AM:   <Samrod> they might as well have "LOSER" written on'em
01:39:19 AM: <fGewA> that can be accomplished
01:39:42 AM: <fGewA> of course, if you're fucking mirrors, that might be why...
01:40:00 AM:   <Samrod> fucking mirrors is so gay
01:40:28 AM: <fGewA> only if the mirror is of the same gender as you

Quote #79

Thu, Mar 11, 2004
02:09:57 AM:   <Samrod> ok, that's it, I'm gonna hit the nutsack
02:10:11 AM: <fGewA> I thought your remote got taken away, samgod
[the reference is to the second entry for 8 March above.]

Quote #80

Tue, Mar 16, 2004

Quote #81

Thu, Mar 18, 2004
[submitted by Chiper.]
    Samrod: Stein?  How long as it been?
            Samrod racks his memory....
    Samrod: Stein:  weren't you going out with eri?
  SFaulken: bwaahahahahahaah!@
   chiper_: ...
   burp621: Dr_Stein: No no no.  We'll have none of that.
            SFaulken falls over laughing hysterically
   burp621: <gasp>
    Samrod: or was that not him?
   chiper_: I would be laughing if it wasn't so pathetic
    etorix: heh
            burp621 is suddenly dumbstruck
  SFaulken: stein and eri dating, now that's funny     =]
    Samrod: either you guys are laughing at me, Stein, or eri...
    Samrod: heh
   chiper_: Samrod: you, just you, always you
     Tollz: D)
    Samrod: or was steing the guy w/ the lesbo roommate?
     Tollz: all of the above
   burp621: <gasp> <pant> <gasp>
    Samrod: Chiper:  oh good
  Dr_Stein: Samrod - WHAT THE HELL
  SFaulken: Tollz: good call
  Dr_Stein: She lives on the other side of the country!
   burp621: ...oh, gawd, make it stop
            SFaulken notes that Stein finally read the scroll
   chiper_: !seen fgewa
    Samrod: Stein:  oh, good, sorry abuot the insult man
  Dr_Stein: And we weren't dating, it was just a torrid affair. Y'know, a purely sexual thing.
    MacGOD: fGewA (~^macrulez@ was last seen quitting from #macintosh 9 hours, 11
    minutes ago stating (Quit: randy swatches).
  Dr_Stein: :P
  Dr_Stein: SFaulken - I was in a Safari window, cursing at Microslop.
  Dr_Stein: Now I'm afk. :P
    Samrod: Stein:  then you had the lesbo roommate right?
   burp621: ...oh, gawd, make it stop
    Samrod: heh, sorry about the confusion
  SFaulken: burp:  are you in pain yet?   cause I am, after this thread of conversation
    Samrod: heh
   burp621: ...must stop laughing so hard  ...co workers coming this way ... must get up off floor
            chiper_ saves it for the samrod file
  SFaulken: luckily I'm at home, nobody to come see what's wrong with me
    Samrod: DAMNED be that evil SGF!
            burp621 ceases what must have looked like seizures to the casual onlooker
    Samrod: this will get my ass kicked somehow, everything always leads to that

Quote #82

Sun, Mar 21, 2004
01:01:06 AM:    Server: Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
01:02:45 AM:  <monarch> sammy
01:02:47 AM:  <monarch> muh rod
01:06:44 AM:   <Samrod> oh hey
01:06:48 AM:   <Samrod> do I know u?
01:06:58 AM:  <monarch> yeah
01:06:57 AM: <fGewA> 'public urinal' comes to mind
01:07:04 AM:  <monarch> hehe
01:07:09 AM:   <Samrod> monarch:  what other nicks do u go by?
01:07:13 AM:  <monarch> sam, fgewa just dissed you
01:07:28 AM:   <Samrod> monarch:  no, he just dissed public urinals
01:07:40 AM:  <monarch> uhm
01:07:47 AM:   <Samrod> poor things
01:08:33 AM:  <monarch> i think the only difference between you and a public urinal, would be that
    you'd apologise for having the urine splash offof you, and the urinal wouldn't
01:09:04 AM:   <Samrod> monarch: so what other nicks have you gone by?  What's yer real name?  How
    long have you been here?
01:09:11 AM:    Server: monarch is moider@3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937.org
[that's kriptik, btw.]
01:09:23 AM:  <monarch> here..10 years almost
01:09:43 AM: <fGewA> he was disguised as a caterpillar; that's why you don't recognise him
01:10:00 AM:  <stibles> and now he's transformed
01:10:15 AM:  <stibles> into a be-U-tee-ful butterfly
01:10:22 AM:   <Samrod> I like how stibles almsot finished fGewA's sentence
01:10:32 AM:   <Samrod> eh
01:10:36 AM:              monarch flits about

Quote #83

Sun, Mar 21, 2004
01:11:18 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* d(o)(o)d!  Jerked off to my
    pic of a flower last night!!!
01:11:27 AM: --> *Samrod* Samrodism!
01:11:46 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* huh?  No seriously, this one:
01:15:21 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* only, I didn't use THAT one, I
    used the full res one on my desktop
01:18:09 AM: --> *Samrod* you need help, man
01:18:24 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* huh?  was that meant for
    someone else?
01:18:42 AM: --> *Samrod* no
01:18:53 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* then what r u referring to?
01:20:10 AM: --> *Samrod* 01:11:18 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]*
    d(o)(o)d!  Jerked off to my pic of a flower last night!!!
01:20:19 AM: *Samrod[~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* oh that

Quote #84

Tue, Mar 23, 2004
03:02:20 AM:    Server: Samgod (~Overexpos@adsl-68-120-224-102.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
03:03:41 AM:   <Samgod> does anyone here know me?
03:03:51 AM: <fGewA> that depends
03:03:59 AM: <fGewA> are you the real samgod, or an overexposed imitation?
03:04:27 AM:   <Samgod> overexposed?!
03:04:16 AM:   <Samgod> why am I listed as samgod rather than samrod?
03:04:05 AM:    Server: Samgod is ~Overexpos@adsl-68-120-224-102.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net (John
03:04:31 AM: <fGewA> probably for the same reason your name is listed as John Shnider rather than
    Kevin Bacon
03:04:49 AM:   <Samgod> you're weird
03:05:16 AM: <fGewA> comments for the real samgod should be addressed to him, not me
03:05:14 AM:   <Samgod> ok, I'll be right back
03:05:16 AM:    Server: Samgod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
03:05:26 AM: <fGewA> ha! proof. the real samgod uses 2.0a5. ;P
03:05:31 AM:    Server: Samgod (~Overexpos@adsl-68-120-224-102.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
03:05:36 AM:   <Samgod> test
03:05:45 AM:    Server: Samgod is ~Overexpos@adsl-68-120-224-102.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net (John
03:05:46 AM:   <Samgod> again, samgod
03:06:48 AM:   <Samgod> I'm logged in as both samrod and samgod
03:06:55 AM: <fGewA> so, person-who-may-or-may-not-be-the-real-samgod (I'll just call you
    PWMOMNBTRS), what's new?
03:07:22 AM:  <monarch> cluebot: samrod?
03:07:22 AM:  <cluebot> hmmm... samrod is roffle-mayo
03:07:25 AM:   <Samgod> well, it took me almost an hour to find an OS X version of this chat client
03:07:25 AM:  <monarch> hah
03:07:36 AM: <fGewA> why didn't you look on your other computer?
03:07:44 AM:   <Samgod> what other computer?
03:07:47 AM: <fGewA> the Cube
03:07:58 AM:   <Samgod> what are you talking about?
03:08:10 AM: <fGewA> your Cube, and the copy of ShadowIRC 2.0a5 running thereon
03:08:12 AM: <fGewA> ...as Samrod
03:08:15 AM: <fGewA> which you just said was you
03:08:21 AM:   <Samgod> there was no client on this computer, so I downloaded Fire, then Adium, and
    none of them work with IRC
03:08:33 AM:   <Samgod> oh
03:08:37 AM:   <Samgod> wow
03:09:08 AM: <fGewA> speaking of which, how's the Cube doing? running well?
03:09:14 AM:   <Samgod> no
03:09:18 AM: <fGewA> oh?
03:09:31 AM: <fGewA> elaborate; maybe we can help
03:09:33 AM:   <Samgod> PowerLogix emailed me suggesting that I send them the ENTIRE Cube, they'll
    cover shipping
03:09:41 AM:   <Samgod> I'm at my mother's house
03:09:52 AM: <fGewA> ah. so that was your mother before?
03:09:57 AM: <fGewA> or did you just forget that you have a Cube? :)
03:09:59 AM:  <monarch> hehe
03:10:06 AM:  <monarch> Miss Bacon I presume?
03:10:14 AM:   <Samgod> same issue:  file system spontaneously becomes unwritable
03:10:34 AM:   <Samgod> no, my "mother" has been asleep for a couple hours
03:10:39 AM:  <monarch> your mother is a lot of fun
03:10:45 AM: <fGewA> '"mother"'?
03:11:04 AM: *Samgod[~Overexpos@adsl-68-120-224-102.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net]* the chick who gave
    birth to me, i.e. "mother"
03:10:49 AM: <fGewA> why the quotes?
03:10:56 AM:  <monarch> hahaha
03:11:09 AM:  <monarch> i love it when irc actually makes me laugh out loud
03:11:14 AM:  <monarch> it's happend a couple of times tonight
03:11:18 AM: <fGewA> monarch: it's his unique talent
03:11:39 AM:   <Samgod> another question, this "samrod" has been logged in for hours, yes?
03:11:50 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~shadowirc@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (Kevin Bacon is a
    14 year old girl! LOL!)
03:11:50 AM:    Server: Samrod has been idle for 19 hours, 59 minutes, 43 seconds
03:11:50 AM:    Server: Samrod signed on at Monday, March 22, 2004, 10:35:56 AM
03:11:53 AM: <fGewA> 03:11:50 AM:    Server: Samrod has been idle for 19 hours, 59 minutes, 43
03:12:03 AM:   <Samgod> oh, ok
03:11:37 AM: <fGewA> samgod - so why the quotes?
03:11:50 AM:   <Samgod> fGewA:  I don't know
03:12:06 AM: <fGewA> samgod - are you just typing things randomly, then?
03:12:10 AM:   <Samgod> no
03:12:12 AM:   <Samgod> why?
03:12:20 AM: <fGewA> well, you don't know why you put quotes around 'mother'
03:12:24 AM:   <Samgod> fGewA:  why are you acting so weird?
03:12:35 AM: <fGewA> talking to yourself is a sign of impending mental collapse, samgod
03:12:49 AM: <fGewA> although, you being you, it may have already impended
03:12:56 AM:  <monarch> fgewa, this happend yesterday, (Annieland is 8 months pregnant and had just
    finished showing off her mac.com gallary of ultrasounds)
03:13:00 AM:  <monarch> Annieland: oops
03:13:02 AM:  <monarch>   Caitlin: Annielands pregnant
03:13:04 AM:  <monarch> Annieland: no i'm not
03:13:24 AM:  <monarch> i was like, wtf
03:13:14 AM: <fGewA> kriptik - ha
03:13:14 AM:   <Samgod> fGewA:  because it's not a word I commonly use, and I'm trying to be normal,
    otherwise I would've just said female parent and you guys would've given me crap for it
03:13:30 AM: <fGewA> samgod - I've never given you crap for saying 'female parent'
03:13:28 AM:   <Samgod> but now I'm also getting crap for mother, so it's a lose/lose deal
03:13:33 AM:              Samgod sighs
03:13:35 AM: <fGewA> and you're getting crap for the quotes
03:13:47 AM: <fGewA> had you just said 'my mother has been asleep', no problems would have arisen
03:14:07 AM:  <monarch> my "donkey" is afk
03:14:16 AM:   <Samgod> why does finding the OS X version of this chat client  have to be so
03:14:37 AM:  <monarch> Samgod: because god gave you a challenge when you were born
03:14:32 AM: <fGewA> it doesn't. you could have looked on your Cube
03:14:46 AM:    Server: CTCP VERSION reply from Samrod: ShadowIRC 2.0a5 © John Bafford 1996-2002
    (09/20/02 17:04:24)
03:14:50 AM: <fGewA> 03:14:46 AM:    Server: CTCP VERSION reply from Samrod: ShadowIRC 2.0a5 © John
    Bafford 1996-2002 (09/20/02 17:04:24)
03:14:51 AM:   <Samgod> fGewA:  I am not at home
03:15:05 AM: <fGewA> so you should have emailed it to yourself or something
03:15:23 AM:  <monarch> poor old sam
03:15:50 AM:   <Samgod> OMG
03:16:09 AM:   <Samgod> this new virgin of ShadowIRC lets you toggle the user list with command-U
03:15:58 AM: <fGewA> oh, btw, here's why I said 'overexposed'...
03:16:07 AM: <fGewA> and 'John Shnider'...
03:16:07 AM: <fGewA> 03:04:05 AM:    Server: Samgod is
    ~Overexpos@adsl-68-120-224-102.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net (John Shnider)
03:16:20 AM:   <Samgod> what the hell?
03:16:25 AM:   <Samgod> weird
03:16:32 AM: <fGewA> is your mother named John Shnider?
03:16:35 AM:   <Samgod> no
03:16:54 AM:   <Samgod> John Shnider was Lude Duke from the Dukes of Hazard
03:17:01 AM:   <Samgod> or the actor who plaid him rather
03:17:26 AM: <fGewA> so John Shnider was Scots?
03:17:40 AM:   <Samgod> dunno
03:17:31 AM:   <Samgod> but I like how the ShadowIRC people use actor names as the defaults
03:17:38 AM: <fGewA> they don't
03:17:56 AM:   <Samgod> ok, then names that sound like actor names
03:18:01 AM: <fGewA> they don't
03:18:09 AM:   <Samgod> whatever

Quote #85

Fri, Mar 26, 2004
02:48:58 AM:  <ramoth4> JiveAt5: Are you on an apple ][ at the moment?
02:49:10 AM:  <JiveAt5> 6115
02:49:16 AM:  <ramoth4> ah :)
02:49:25 AM:  <JiveAt5> actually im on a chair
02:49:31 AM: <fGewA> hehe
02:49:40 AM:  <ramoth4> JiveAt5: Don't fGewA me >:P
02:49:55 AM:  <ramoth4> only fGewA can do that ;)
02:50:20 AM:   <Samrod> even then it's fucking annoying and reminds me too much of myself and my
    friend in highschool geeking off
02:51:12 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: A bit sensitive, are we?
02:51:25 AM:   <Samrod> no, it's just irritating and jeuvanile
02:51:36 AM: <fGewA> your spelling of juvenile is jeuvanile
02:51:42 AM: <fGewA> literally and figuratively :D
02:51:51 AM:   <Samrod> yeah
02:51:26 AM:  <JiveAt5> yay the weekend is hre!
02:51:31 AM:   <Samrod> hre!
02:51:36 AM:  <ramoth4> hre!
02:51:54 AM:  <ramoth4> oh my gut
02:52:03 AM: <fGewA> tug ym ho
02:52:09 AM: <fGewA> that sounds vaguely dirty, y'know
02:52:03 AM:  <ramoth4> it still hurts from seeing Eurotrip
02:52:16 AM:  <ramoth4> I definitely strained something seeing that movie.
02:52:06 AM:   <Samrod> and yer only *19* man, wtf is up with that?!
02:52:16 AM: <fGewA> samgod - only?
02:52:24 AM: <fGewA> juvenile refers to younger ages, y'know
02:52:26 AM:  <ramoth4> I'm 17.
02:52:27 AM:   <Samrod> ramoth:  my gut hurts from eating a huge Dos Manos at Baja Fresh tonight
02:52:33 AM:  <ramoth4> And I quoth the Zo...
02:52:38 AM: <fGewA> why did you eat two hands?
02:52:41 AM:  <ramoth4> ;)
02:52:45 AM:   <Samrod> see, he's geeking out again
02:52:55 AM:   <Samrod> yer like, addicted
02:52:55 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: Valid question though.
02:53:00 AM:  <ramoth4> Why DID you eat two hands.
02:53:20 AM:   <Samrod> someone save me from this teen geek nightmare!!!
02:53:45 AM:              ramoth4 thrust Samrod into the pre-pubescent geek nightmare.
02:53:47 AM:  <ramoth4> Saved!
02:53:48 AM: <fGewA> you could go to mars. all you need is a fish-bowl, a wet suit, and a SCUBA
[Zak McKracken reference.]
02:53:50 AM:   <Samrod> ok fine:  it's the fucking name of the meal at Baja Fresh
02:54:02 AM: <fGewA> do they have a non-fucking name for it?
02:54:09 AM:  <ramoth4> fGewA: Probably not.
02:54:11 AM:   <Samrod> heh
02:54:13 AM: <fGewA> I want only dishes with virgin names.
02:54:27 AM: <fGewA> the ironic thing, that dish would probably have crabs...
02:54:26 AM:  <JiveAt5> the term "throws up his/her hands.." always gave me the wrong mental image
02:55:24 AM:  <JiveAt5> thats why u eat dos manos
02:54:35 AM: <fGewA> JiveAt5: hehehe
02:54:26 AM:   <Samrod> yer on a downward spiral
02:55:09 AM:  <ramoth4> You make me wanna SHOUT / throw my hands back / SHOUT / kick my heels up

Quote #86

Fri, Mar 26, 2004
02:55:15 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  when u were still jerkin' it, how often did you imagine poppin
    pimples to get off?

Quote #87

Fri, Mar 26, 2004
03:08:33 AM:  <OoTLink> the only thing you can't confuse samrod with is sex
03:08:36 AM:   <Samrod> damn... Carter, Clinton, Gore, Edwards, and a ton of other bigtime democrats
    are backing Jim Carrey!
03:08:45 AM:  <OoTLink> ... and politics
03:09:41 AM:   <Samrod> Haward Dean is now campaigning for Carrey
03:09:56 AM: <fGewA> Jim Carrey? is he running for office?
03:10:10 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  heh, JOHN
03:10:16 AM: <TheTaxMan> "Howard" Dean, and John Kerry.
03:10:17 AM:  <JiveAt5> its cash n kerry
03:10:18 AM: <fGewA> oh, John Kerry?
03:10:21 AM:   <Samrod> yeah
03:10:26 AM: <fGewA> you said Jim Carrey...
03:10:27 AM:  <ramoth4> Oh, same difference.
03:10:38 AM:  <ramoth4> Jim, John, same diff.
03:10:31 AM: <TheTaxMan> and goowah, it's Carey.
03:10:38 AM: <fGewA> no. it's Jim Carrey.
03:10:46 AM:  <ramoth4> No, It's JC.
03:10:52 AM: <TheTaxMan> oh. right carrey.
03:11:02 AM:  <ramoth4> No, Jim Carrey.
03:11:06 AM:  <ramoth4> Right Carrey is his cousin.

Quote #88

Mon, Mar 29, 2004
03:37:24 AM:   <Samrod> damn, some dude wrestles a shark off his nefew, then they removed the kid's
    arm from the shark's stomach and reattached it to the kid
03:37:50 AM:   <Samrod> wonder if the kid will ever be able to jerk w/ that arm again

Quote #89

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
02:08:25 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  so what do u have planned for when yer dead?
02:08:51 AM:   <kathee> Samrod - to haunt you
02:09:08 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  you better wear something sheer then
02:09:35 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  and be willing to lower those damn standards, I don't wanna be
    getting rejected by no dead chix
02:10:22 AM: <fGewA> you do that now, samgod. think about it - has a dead chick ever been willing to
    sleep with you?
02:10:32 AM:   <Samrod> nope
02:10:35 AM:   <Samrod> not even dead ones
02:10:36 AM: <fGewA> see?

Quote #90

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:12:29 AM:              OoTLink puts samrod on kathee's lap
03:12:36 AM:   <kathee> noooooooooo
03:12:40 AM:   <kathee> =P
03:12:55 AM:  <OoTLink> um
03:12:56 AM:  <OoTLink> oops
03:13:00 AM:              OoTLink puts samrod on fG's lap instead
03:13:08 AM:              Samrod hops the fuck off!
03:13:22 AM:              fGewA takes a decon shower

Quote #91

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:50:41 AM: <fGewA> samgod - here... I'll send you a build of the fGewA Edition [of ShadowIRC]
03:51:35 AM:   <Samrod> wait, but the version my mom has has the userlist integrated into the chat
03:51:54 AM: <fGewA> Userlist preferences, samgod
03:52:08 AM:   <Samrod> ok
03:52:22 AM:   <Samrod> amazing, I finally have a userlist window after so many years since using
03:56:50 AM:    Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
03:57:08 AM:    Server: Samrod (~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
03:57:15 AM:   <Samrod> woo hoo!!  I'm back?
03:57:22 AM: <fGewA> samgod - you're not back. you're samgod
03:57:25 AM: <fGewA> back was here earlier
03:58:10 AM:   <Samrod> no, I'm not samgod, I'm Samrod
03:57:40 AM:   <Samrod> whoami
03:57:46 AM:   <Samrod> hmm... , no'
03:57:51 AM: <fGewA> we've been trying to figure that out for years
03:57:57 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (0)
03:57:57 AM:    Server: Samrod is on channels #macintosh
03:57:57 AM:    Server: Samrod is on IRC via *.undernet.org (The Undernet Underworld)
03:58:10 AM: <fGewA> 03:57:57 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (0)
03:58:20 AM: <fGewA> well, it beats 'Kevin Bacon is a 14-year-old girl!!! LOL!'
03:59:01 AM:   <kathee> i'm back :)
03:59:13 AM: <fGewA> see, samgod? I told you you weren't back
03:59:18 AM: <fGewA> kathee's back. you can't both be back
03:59:14 AM:   <Samrod> interesting, that's all yer getting?  No the real name and  username fields?
03:59:26 AM: <fGewA> samgod - those are the username and realname fields
03:59:36 AM: <fGewA> 'my' for the username; '0' for the realname
03:59:42 AM:    Server: OoTLink is ~Linkeh@adsl-64-175-247-140.dsl.sntc01.pacbell.net (OoTLink)
03:59:44 AM: <fGewA> 03:59:42 AM:    Server: OoTLink is
    ~Linkeh@adsl-64-175-247-140.dsl.sntc01.pacbell.net (OoTLink)
04:00:06 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  so it's not displaying the fields' actual contents
04:00:12 AM: <fGewA> samgod - yes it is
04:00:53 AM:   <Samrod> first off, I'm in here as Samrod, not samgod, secondly, "my" and "0" aren't
    what are in those fields right now
04:00:58 AM:    Server: OoTLink has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
04:01:04 AM: <fGewA> samgod - check your prefs
04:01:09 AM:   <Samrod> just did
04:01:10 AM: <ZoraLink> samrod isn't samgod
04:01:13 AM: <fGewA> and I've ALWAYS called you samgod, ever since you started coming here
04:01:22 AM: <fGewA> ZoraLink: he is too.
04:01:23 AM: <ZoraLink> oh joy
04:01:24 AM: <ZoraLink> brb
04:01:28 AM:   <kathee> he IS
04:01:34 AM: <ZoraLink> oh
04:01:35 AM:   <Samrod> is not
04:01:40 AM:   <Samrod> who's ZoraLink?
04:01:46 AM:   <Samrod> fucking new ppl
04:01:52 AM: <ZoraLink> zora link is joe
04:01:52 AM: <ZoraLink> :P
04:01:54 AM:   <Samrod> oh
04:01:57 AM: <fGewA> ZoraLink == OoTLink
04:02:06 AM: <ZoraLink> zora link is a fish... sorta...
04:02:11 AM:    Server: ZoraLink is now known as OoTLink
04:02:12 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  I'm telling you, the prefs don't contain "my" and "0"
04:02:12 AM:  <OoTLink> happy?
04:02:15 AM:  <OoTLink> brb
04:02:17 AM:   <Samrod> yeah, better
04:02:18 AM:    Server: kathee is now known as CheriPopr
04:02:21 AM:              CheriPopr
04:03:05 AM: <CheriPopr> hands Samrod a viagra,'
04:03:30 AM: <CheriPopr> c' mon baby  - get it up :)
04:04:07 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  handing me viagra is like putting out a fire with a flamethrower
04:04:40 AM: <CheriPopr> oh, it is?
04:02:30 AM:   <Samrod> actually, "my" is the first word of the username
04:02:46 AM:   <Samrod> guess it strips out everything past the first whitespace
04:02:48 AM: <fGewA> you can't have a username of more than one word
04:02:53 AM: <fGewA> IRC law.
04:02:58 AM:   <Samrod> but "0" is definitely NOT the Real Name
04:03:22 AM:   <Samrod> what was my username normally?
04:03:27 AM: <fGewA> back up your prefs, then save them
04:03:30 AM: <fGewA> 'shadowirc'
04:03:41 AM:   <Samrod> why can't u see my real name then?
04:03:48 AM: <fGewA> because you haven't set it
04:03:52 AM: <fGewA> or you connected before you set it
04:04:17 AM:   <Samrod> hmm....  ok
04:04:28 AM:    Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
04:04:37 AM:    Server: Samrod (~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
04:04:58 AM:   <Samrod> asdfasdf
04:05:01 AM:   <Samrod> as;kjasd;jag;hasdkhfasdkhasdf
04:05:05 AM:   <Samrod> hmm..., working
04:05:15 AM:   <Samrod> fucking defaults
04:06:22 AM: <fGewA> you need to reconnect, samgod
04:06:27 AM:   <Samrod> I just did
04:06:34 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (0)
04:06:37 AM:    Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
04:06:53 AM:    Server: Samrod (~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
04:06:53 AM: <fGewA> NOW you did
04:06:55 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (0)
04:06:58 AM: <fGewA> 04:06:55 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~my@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (0)
04:06:59 AM:   <Samrod> um, ok
04:07:05 AM:   <Samrod> nope, still not working
04:07:09 AM: <fGewA> screenshot your prefs
04:07:14 AM:   <Samrod> ok
04:07:23 AM: <fGewA> make sure to cut your autoexec if you have one
04:07:26 AM: <fGewA> so I don't see your passwords
[he showed me the screenshot.]
04:12:17 AM: <fGewA> samgod - fix the username
04:14:30 AM:    Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
04:14:45 AM:    Server: Samrod (~haroon@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
04:15:37 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~haroon@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com (Dana Plato killed
04:15:40 AM: <fGewA> 04:15:37 AM:    Server: Samrod is ~haroon@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com
    (Dana Plato killed herself)
04:15:50 AM:   <Samrod> working
04:15:40 AM:  <OoTLink> lol
04:15:47 AM: <fGewA> oh, setting your username to haroon. that's evil
04:15:53 AM: <fGewA> haroon's gonna be so pissed :D
04:15:49 AM:  <OoTLink> hhahaha
04:15:59 AM:  <OoTLink> hahahaha
04:16:43 AM:              OoTLink high fives samrod
04:16:46 AM:  <OoTLink> nice move :)
04:16:57 AM:   <Samrod> Joe:  referring to the username?
04:17:00 AM:  <OoTLink> yeah
04:17:05 AM:   <Samrod> ah, ok
04:17:44 AM:   <Samrod> couldn't think of anything...  username fields and passwords fields scare
    the SHIT outta me...  I get stuck spending HOURS staring at them, burning away half a day
    figuring out what to enter

Quote #92

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
[after the SGF URL was pasted.]
02:45:44 AM:  <monarch> haha
02:46:08 AM:  <monarch> sam has to be pulling our leg
02:48:47 AM:  <ramoth4> samrod couldn't find his own legs in the dark with a flashlight and a map.
02:49:32 AM:   <Samrod> I'd be pulling yer legs if they were shaved
02:49:42 AM: <fGewA> even though he's male, samgod?
02:50:24 AM: <abeyance> at this point i don't think sam's too picky
02:51:24 AM: <abeyance> lmao..
02:51:25 AM: <abeyance> Twist-: didn't occur to you to get inside the car?
02:52:03 AM:  <monarch> hahaha the jerking off one is really disturbing
02:51:39 AM: <abeyance> oh this page is soooo being bookmarked.
02:51:43 AM:   <Samrod> heh
02:51:54 AM:   <Samrod> u know......
02:52:10 AM:   <Samrod> laughing at SGF is essentially  no different than laughing at the mass of
    neurons in my skull
02:52:29 AM: <fGewA> that's kinda the point, samgod
02:52:30 AM:  <monarch> hahaha
02:52:09 AM: <abeyance> alisen would LOVE this page.
02:52:17 AM:   <Samrod> oh fukc
02:52:18 AM:   <Samrod> fuck
02:52:23 AM:   <Samrod> holy fuck no
02:52:23 AM:   <Samrod> NO
02:52:26 AM:  <monarch> hahaha
02:52:34 AM: <fGewA> hehe
02:52:42 AM: <fGewA> good one, abeyance ;)
02:52:41 AM:   <Samrod> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crap.
02:52:47 AM: <abeyance> i can't stop laughing. and my face hurts.
02:53:22 AM:   <Samrod> franky:  you don't want her sweet face to hurt do you?  You really wouldn't
    wanna her Alisen do you?
[a little later... SHAMELESS PLUG.]
03:00:36 AM:  <monarch> haha
03:01:03 AM:  <monarch> i am laughing so much i just squirted myself in the eye with my sports-water
03:01:06 AM:  <monarch>  haah
03:01:09 AM:              monarch tries to get a grip

Quote #93

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:15:21 AM:   <Samrod> OMFG!   A cloud just rolled INTO MY FUCKING LIVING ROOM
03:15:28 AM:   <Samrod> mother FUCK
03:15:43 AM: <fGewA> on wheels?
03:15:47 AM: <fGewA> or was it tumbling?
03:16:08 AM:  <monarch> <squeek of little trundling wheels>
03:16:15 AM:  <monarch> that's how he noticed it i guess
03:16:08 AM:   <Samrod> I'm sitting here why visibility is just getting lower & lower, then I
    realized something's not normal
03:16:34 AM:   <Samrod> then I look toward the TV and it's fucking FOG in my living room
03:16:54 AM:   <Samrod> the window is open and a fag bank rolled in right by the window, and right
03:17:44 AM:   <Samrod> but this isn't normally supposed to happen
03:17:52 AM:  <OoSLink> LOL samrod
03:18:07 AM:  <OoSLink> you left the window open and now you have FOG in your room?!!?!
03:18:08 AM:  <OoSLink> HAHAHAA
03:18:13 AM:   <Samrod> living room
03:18:13 AM: <fGewA> you're absolutely right, samgod!
03:18:26 AM: <fGewA> clouds shouldn't roll, they should drift!
03:18:29 AM:   <Samrod> bastard cloud!
03:18:36 AM: <fGewA> damn right!

Quote #94

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:18:58 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  our feet smell but our noses run, so it's all fucked up!

Quote #95

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:34:11 AM: <fGewA> I just noticed this
03:34:15 AM: <fGewA> 03:16:54 AM:   <Samrod> the window is open and a fag bank rolled in right by
    the window, and right inside
03:34:23 AM: <fGewA> what exactly is a fag bank?
03:34:36 AM:   <Samrod> bank
03:34:39 AM:   <Samrod> of fog
03:34:48 AM:   <Samrod> i.e.  fog bank
03:34:46 AM:   <etorix> fog wank
03:34:46 AM: <fGewA> a fag bank is a bank of fog?
03:34:58 AM: <fGewA> I thought that was a fog bank
03:35:13 AM:   <Samrod> yeah
03:35:19 AM:   <Samrod> what?  fag?
03:35:48 AM: <fGewA> that's what you said - 'fag bank'
03:35:58 AM:   <Samrod> oh, I meant fog bank
03:36:06 AM: <fGewA> OHHHHHHHHHHH!
03:36:09 AM: <fGewA> :)

Quote #96

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:40:44 AM:   <Samrod> so if women had shlongs, would they get hardons as often and as easily as
03:41:24 AM:  <monarch> would these fantastical women be attracted to men or women?
03:41:42 AM:   <Samrod> dunno
03:41:59 AM:   <Samrod> I guess maybe women's asses or descaled fish w/ really soft mouths

Quote #97

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
03:42:06 AM:  <OoSLink> a hawt girl gets my engine running :P
03:42:43 AM:   <Samrod> mine ran outta gas, it's just all ignition ticking
03:43:21 AM:  <OoSLink> my engine is powered by um..
03:43:30 AM:  <OoSLink> easily renewable resources
03:43:35 AM:   <Samrod> mine's powered by cum
03:44:11 AM:  <OoSLink> eew
03:44:24 AM:  <OoSLink> I know what you mean but
03:44:24 AM:  <OoSLink> TMI

Quote #98

Tue, Mar 30, 2004
04:01:11 AM:              OoSLink throws a giant wrench at samrod
04:01:30 AM:              OoSLink watches it soar through the air towards samrod's skull
04:01:45 AM: <fGewA> ooh! soon we'll get to see samgod's mass of neurons!
04:01:51 AM:  <OoSLink> and thus your life flashes before your eyes :P
04:01:58 AM:  <OoSLink> Adios!
04:02:06 AM:  <OoSLink> *THUD*
04:02:27 AM:              OoSLink dives under his shield
04:02:49 AM:   <Samrod> oh, wasn't referring to a cookie
04:03:10 AM:  <OoSLink> aww crap
04:03:15 AM:  <OoSLink> I didn't hit samrod
04:03:19 AM:   <Samrod> no, SPLOOGE
04:03:38 AM:              OoSLink notices a giant mess of glass next to .. oh.. blakespot's. ... oh
04:03:50 AM:  <OoSLink> does ANYONE have an apple repair man here?
04:04:04 AM: <fGewA> ootlink - I have six of them in blister-packs
04:04:11 AM:  <OoSLink> hahah
04:04:20 AM:              OoSLink notes the smashed cinema display
04:04:26 AM:  <OoSLink> darnit samrod
04:04:51 AM:   <Samrod> what splooged cinema display?
04:04:56 AM:   <Samrod> smaged
04:04:58 AM:   <Samrod> smashed
04:05:02 AM:   <Samrod> FUCK

Quote #99

Wed, Mar 31, 2004
03:04:09 AM:   <Samrod> Joe:  I'm telling u man, you gotta squirt off a couple rounds in a high
    school administration office during normal business hours or forget about getting into a good
03:04:26 AM:   <Samrod> use a nudy mag if ya half to
03:04:28 AM:  <OoTLink> what samrod?
03:04:46 AM:   <Samrod> hmm....  n/m

Quote #100

Wed, Mar 31, 2004
03:05:58 AM:   <Samrod> Joe:  samgod's dick has a cold tonight, bummer, it's been running and
    spewing all night
03:06:01 AM:  <ramoth4> i think it's  time to sleep
03:06:07 AM:  <ramoth4> yes , yes i tis
03:06:08 AM: <fGewA> AIGHH!!!!

Quote #101

Wed, Mar 31, 2004
03:16:28 AM:   <kathee> SAmrod, wtf is the URL for yer ad? :)
03:17:06 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  uh...   hold on, lemme get it, you have to be a member (free
    registration only needs you to fill out a really simple form, takes about a minute)
03:17:11 AM:    Server: Samrod has left #macintosh
03:17:29 AM: <fGewA> apparently, the URL for samgod's friendster page is not on IRC

Quote #102

Fri, Apr 02, 2004
[submitted by kriptik.]
05:07         Samrod | god DAMN I want that chick!
05:07         Samrod | she makes my toes erect, and that's saying something

Quote #103

Wed, Apr 07, 2004
10:57:57 PM:   <Samrod> how much carbs, cholesterol, and calories in female cum?

Quote #104

Sat, Apr 10, 2004
01:49:43 AM:   <Samrod> damn, I can't believe how extreme sleepyness just knocks one out

Quote #105

Sat, Apr 10, 2004
11:54:27 PM:   <Samrod> ya know, for all the crap I get about squirtting off, I don't do it as
    frequently as you guys seem to think
11:54:41 PM: <fGewA> only every hour instead of every half-hour, samgod?
11:55:28 PM:   <Samrod> fGewA: so far I've done it only once this week...  since last Friday that is

Quote #106

Sun, Apr 11, 2004
04:49:28 AM:   <Samrod> ok, I gotta go do something....
04:49:35 AM: <fGewA> okay, samgod
[time passes.]
04:50:56 AM:   <Samrod> yeah, so I'm drained
04:51:00 AM:   <Samrod> so I guess this is it then
04:52:01 AM: <fGewA> what is what?
04:53:27 AM:   <Samrod> peeing
04:53:42 AM: <fGewA> this is peeing, or peeing is it?
04:54:14 AM:   <Samrod> listening to myself pee is like poetry, they have beautiful feathers and
    glide on the thermals so gracefully
04:54:52 AM: <CheriPopr> ehh?
04:55:00 AM: <fGewA> who's they?
04:55:17 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: peeing & poetry

Quote #107

Sun, Apr 11, 2004
04:56:12 AM:    Server: dan-- has changed the topic on #macintosh to <Samrod> listening to myself
    pee is like peotry, they have beautiful feathers and glide on the thermals so gracefully
04:56:30 AM:   <Samrod> y'd he just topic that?
04:56:39 AM:    <dan--> cuz it's funny.
04:57:13 AM:    <dan--> that's the funniest thing i've heard all night.
04:57:19 AM:    <dan--> funny in a sad kinda way.
04:56:47 AM:   <Samrod> ?  Um, ok
04:57:46 AM:   <Samrod> mdan, yer acting like a fucking stick
04:58:15 AM:    <dan--> a fucking stick?
04:58:16 AM:    <dan--> wassat?
04:58:35 AM: <fGewA> fucking stick... I can only think of one thing that could be
04:58:59 AM:    <dan--> hmmm.
04:59:20 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: he's acting like a dick
04:59:30 AM: <fGewA> I was right
04:59:58 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: I was being considerate in the presense of a bitch
[he apparently meant kathee/CheriPopr --M-A]
05:00:11 AM: <fGewA> emphasis on 'was'

Quote #108

Tue, Apr 13, 2004
[after many had read the episode of Wendy19, from 11 aug 2003 above.]
03:38:12 AM:    Server: Wendy21 (have.you@dsl092-146-207.wdc2.dsl.speakeasy.net) joined #macintosh
03:38:15 AM:  <Wendy21> *titter*
03:38:43 AM: <abeyance> buwhahahahahaha
03:38:55 AM:    Server: wendy20: There was no such nickname
03:39:01 AM: <fGewA> so... return of wendy :)
03:39:03 AM: <fGewA> ;)
03:39:04 AM:              OoSLink smirks
03:39:07 AM: <abeyance> lol
03:39:07 AM:    Server: samrod: There was no such nickname
03:39:11 AM:    Server: samgod: There was no such nickname
03:39:15 AM: <fGewA> pity. the rod isn't online
03:39:17 AM:   <kathee> :/
03:39:33 AM:  <Wendy21> i *need* the rod!
03:39:36 AM:              Wendy21 moisens
03:39:45 AM:    Server: Wendy21 has left #macintosh
[time passes]
03:42:36 AM:    Server: Samrod (~haroon@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #macintosh
03:42:40 AM:  <OoSLink> oh yay!
03:42:48 AM: <fGewA> samgod - YOU MISSED WENDY!
03:43:15 AM:              CheriPopr missed wendy :(
03:43:16 AM: <abeyance> heya sam
03:43:35 AM:              CheriPopr pops Samrod :)
03:44:11 AM:   <Samrod> who's Wendy?
03:44:30 AM:   <Samrod> and so what if I missed her?
03:44:19 AM: <abeyance> wendy21
03:44:28 AM: <fGewA> samgod - she wanted JavaScript help, remember?
03:44:32 AM: <fGewA> about a year ago
03:44:57 AM:   <Samrod> dunno wendy, don't care
03:45:13 AM: <fGewA> samgod - she wanted to add a word to a list, remember? :)
03:45:27 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: no
03:45:35 AM: <fGewA> alright, then... I'll show you the log
03:45:40 AM: <fGewA> cluebot: samgod file
03:45:41 AM:  <cluebot> i guess samgod file is http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/samgod.txt
[UPDATE 2006-09-06: The URL has changed. It is now http://boredzo.org/irc/samgod.txt .]
03:45:45 AM: <fGewA> 11 aug 2003
03:46:19 AM:   <outcry> if someone gives me a shell on whitehouse.gov
03:46:26 AM:   <outcry> i'll bring wendy back
03:47:00 AM:   <Samrod> wasn't Krip Wendy?
03:47:19 AM: <fGewA> oh, so he did figure it out!
03:47:25 AM: <fGewA> you never let on :D
03:48:33 AM: *Samrod[~haroon@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com]* sometimes I can't tell if you
    guys are really buying my shit, or if yer that amusingly malleable
[!!! --M-A]
03:49:23 AM: <abeyance> i think farmerjoe was more in the dark than samrod was.
03:48:06 AM:    Server: AliceGrl (have.you@dsl092-146-207.wdc2.dsl.speakeasy.net) joined #macintosh
03:48:07 AM: <CheriPopr> !seen wendy*
03:48:09 AM:   <MacGOD> Wendy21 (have.you@dsl092-146-207.wdc2.dsl.speakeasy.net) was last seen
    parting #macintosh 8 minutes ago stating "{}".
03:48:27 AM: *outcry[moider@3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937.org]* this uis where
    you hear the slow motion 'noooooooooooooooooooooooo'
03:48:33 AM: *outcry[moider@3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937.org]* as both those
    hostmasks match up
03:49:29 AM:  <OoSLink> but it's not worth any trouble
03:49:38 AM: <AliceGrl> Hi, does anyone know about Macintosh?
03:49:47 AM: <AliceGrl> Computer?
03:49:56 AM: <fGewA> AliceGrl: likely so
03:50:00 AM: <fGewA> this being, well, #macintosh
03:50:01 AM:  <OoSLink> Alice, this is the Macintosh chat ;)
03:50:11 AM:              OoSLink tosses fG a drink
03:50:13 AM: <AliceGrl> Oh, is this all boys?
03:50:22 AM:   <etorix> no
03:50:25 AM:  <OoSLink> I doubt that :)
03:50:32 AM:   <Samrod> AliceGrl: including you?  Yeah, all boys
03:50:39 AM: <CheriPopr> uh huh
03:50:50 AM: <AliceGrl> Samrod :~(
03:51:01 AM: <CheriPopr> brb
03:51:11 AM:   <outcry> sam do you have your helm of perception on tonight
03:51:23 AM:              OoSLink hands alice a cookie
03:51:25 AM:   <Samrod> outcry: elaborate
03:51:42 AM:  <OoSLink> samrod: not necessary
03:51:56 AM:   <Samrod> whatever
03:51:28 AM:  <OoSLink> how can we help you?
03:52:04 AM: <AliceGrl> Samrod is a strong name
03:52:10 AM: <AliceGrl> It must be a girls name
03:52:17 AM: <AliceGrl> Men have weak names
03:52:18 AM:  <OoSLink> you think?
03:52:19 AM:   <Samrod> AliceGrl is a drag queen name
03:53:02 AM:  <OoSLink> yeah I tihink link is a pretty dinky name but that's cool, isn't it? Think
    about it some
03:53:14 AM:  <OoSLink> at least it isn't written in ink :P
03:53:25 AM:  <OoSLink> Joe is a man's man :D
03:53:41 AM:  <OoSLink> hrmm Samuel Rod
03:53:42 AM:  <OoSLink> :)
03:53:47 AM: <AliceGrl> :(
03:53:53 AM:              AliceGrl bursts into tears
03:53:57 AM:    Server: AliceGrl has left #macintosh
03:54:03 AM:  <OoSLink> oh my
03:54:10 AM:   <Samrod> great
03:54:11 AM: <abeyance> doesn't undernet mask hostnames?
03:54:15 AM: <abeyance> :P
03:55:34 AM: <fGewA> abeyance: CService does
03:55:47 AM:              OoSLink eats cService
03:54:15 AM:  <OoSLink> I smell a troll :)
03:54:38 AM:  <OoSLink> changed their name :P
03:54:16 AM:   <Samrod> took long enuf
03:55:38 AM:              OoSLink grins

Quote #109

Wed, Apr 14, 2004
03:31:48 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  if a woman were to use a fish as a dildo (scaled of course), what
    would smell worse afterwards?  The fish or the woman?
03:32:02 AM:   <Samrod> or would both smell better?
03:32:21 AM:   <Samrod> and taste better also
03:32:23 AM:              kathee never used a fish as a dildo :)
03:32:41 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  y not?
03:32:55 AM:   <kathee> i'm outta fish??
03:32:58 AM:   <kathee> lol
03:33:02 AM:   <Samrod> would that be considered intercourse w/ a fish, or would the fishy be eating
    out the woman?
03:33:12 AM:   <etorix> them scales can be scratchy
03:33:20 AM:   <kathee> i bet et
03:33:22 AM:   <Samrod> specially on the way out
03:35:39 AM:   <kathee> WHY would i EVER wanna use a fish as a dildo?????
03:36:08 AM:   <Samrod> kathee:  it's long & slimy, and depending on how fresh it is, it'll wiggle
    around in there

Quote #110

Sat, Apr 17, 2004
04:29:34 AM:   <Samrod> btw, cameos in my dream:  Robert Dinero, Will Smith, that guy from Emergency
    (the '70s TV show), who else?
04:31:13 AM:   <Stereo> Samrod: was kevin bacon in it too?
04:31:33 AM:   <Samrod> Stereo: u ppl and Kevin Bacon!!!   DIE YOU ALL!

Quote #111

Tue, Apr 20, 2004
03:41:01 AM:   <Samrod> so fGewA, which tire treads most closely match  yer scrotum?

Quote #112

Wed, Apr 21, 2004
01:04:13 AM:   <Samrod> d`oh|afk: well, he's the one interested in seeing restart speed, so just
    gonna show him what he wants
01:04:36 AM:   <Samrod> ok, here I go
01:04:54 AM:    Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
01:04:45 AM:  <gotmilf> mine reboots faster
01:04:54 AM:  <gotmilf> ready?
01:04:57 AM:  <gotmilf> back
01:05:02 AM:  <gotmilf> see?

Quote #113

Wed, Apr 21, 2004
02:50:30 AM:   <Samrod> watching people read the SGF for the first time is like watching someone
    lose their virginity

Quote #114

Wed, Apr 21, 2004
02:51:15 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: by any chance, and not that there's anything wrong with it, but
    you've never jerked off to the SGF I hope, right?
02:51:44 AM:    Server: Mode change "+b *!*@c-24-126-170-1.we.client2.attbi.com" on #macintosh by
02:51:44 AM:    Server: Samrod was kicked off #macintosh by grndzero (wtf?)

Quote #115

Mon, May 10, 2004
12:14:53 AM: <FarmerJoe> Samrod! you get a job yet?
12:15:29 AM:   <Samrod> FarmerJoe: yeah, I get paid to bang yer sister
12:16:14 AM:    <dan--> obviously, given his Samrod's record, he's not too good at his job.

Quote #116

Tue, May 18, 2004
03:19:15 AM:  <kriptik> i'm in a very odd mood
03:19:19 AM:  <kriptik> sex with dolphins will do that to a man
03:19:32 AM:   <Miroku> hahahaha krip
03:19:38 AM:   <Miroku> that still stuck in your head?
03:19:46 AM:  <kriptik> is what?
03:20:00 AM:   <Miroku> kriptik: the dolphin sex stuff
03:20:00 AM:  <kriptik> i don't remember us discussing sex with dolphins
03:20:01 AM:   <Miroku> oh
03:20:09 AM:   <Miroku> it was brought up last night
03:20:11 AM:   <Miroku> rofl
03:20:27 AM:   <Miroku> after seeing a few anecdotes about it I decided to wipe my browser cache
03:20:20 AM:   <Samrod> kriptik: fuck you, I regret ever mentioning that god damn dolphin fetish.
    Do you always have to find theh wound and pick at it?
03:20:22 AM:  <kriptik> oh
03:20:26 AM:  <kriptik> ?
03:20:32 AM:  <kriptik> i really wasn't here for the dolphin talk
03:20:45 AM:   <Miroku> kriptik: yeah probably not
03:20:44 AM:  <kriptik> i think i have an inate ability to see peoples sore spots
03:20:51 AM:  <kriptik> like womans intuition
03:20:54 AM:  <kriptik> but for being a cunt
03:20:53 AM:   <Miroku> hahahaha
03:20:47 AM: <Garamond> Samrod: you have a dolphin fetish?
03:20:55 AM: <fGewA> samgod has a dolphin fetish?
03:20:58 AM:   <Stereo> oh my. What did I walk into? Dolphin what?
03:21:06 AM:   <Miroku> samrod has a dolphin fetish?!
03:21:00 AM:  <kriptik> it's a gift
03:21:15 AM: <Garamond> wicked, man
03:21:12 AM:   <Miroku> OMG goowah, the sgf...
03:21:24 AM:   <Miroku> it's so going to benefit from *THAT!*
03:21:18 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: why the hell do u think krip keeps bringing it up?
03:21:45 AM: <fGewA> samgod - well, he brings lots of stuph up...
03:21:40 AM:  <kriptik> fGewA: i really had no idea....
03:21:38 AM: <Garamond> how do you, uhm, operate a dolphin?
03:21:47 AM:  <kriptik> Garamond: with a gammy trout
03:21:49 AM:   <Miroku> garamond: doggy style
03:21:42 AM:   <Miroku> samrod: tell me, have you considered having arelationship with one?
03:21:50 AM:   <Samrod> and NO, I don't have a fucking dolphin fetish anymore, so let's just drop
    it, thank you
03:22:00 AM: <Garamond> enymore?
03:22:02 AM: <fGewA> ooh, so this is a fucking fetish
03:22:05 AM:   <Miroku> heh
03:22:12 AM:   <Miroku> there was a site I bet he saw
03:22:12 AM:   <Miroku> lol
03:22:27 AM:   <Samrod> Miroku: do I even know you?
03:56:24 AM:    Server: Miroku is ~JoeG4@ppp-67-116-228-86.dialup.pltn13.pacbell.net (Joe)
03:22:39 AM:              fGewA knows him.
03:22:35 AM:   <Miroku> only as joe
03:22:53 AM:   <Samrod> Miroku: oh, joe
03:23:07 AM:              Miroku points at ootlink again
03:22:38 AM:   <kathee> Samrod has a fish fetish tho
[reference: quote 108]
03:22:49 AM:   <Miroku> you sure do! O_o
03:23:50 AM:   <Samrod> um, this was supposed to be me having a serious conversation w/ floop about
    something I've been working on for the better part of a week with no more than an hour of sleep
    each night, and now this shit flies in my face
03:24:08 AM:   <Miroku> samrod: you were overdue/
03:24:25 AM:   <Miroku> you knew a major piece of shit flying into your face was long overdue man
03:24:38 AM:   <Miroku> I'm sorry :(
03:24:58 AM:     <d`oh> what about dolphins?
03:29:20 AM:   <Samrod> btw, just so u all know, not once have I ever had a wet dream about a *male*
    dolphin, so don't even think of going in that direction w/ the dumb jokes
03:29:42 AM:   <Miroku> samrod: wow you have guts

Quote #117

Tue, May 18, 2004
03:47:35 AM:  <kriptik> I wish i wasn't so dysfunctional with girls
03:47:39 AM:  <kriptik> oh well
03:47:53 AM:   <etorix> at least they like u
03:48:09 AM:  <kriptik> true
03:49:06 AM:   <Samrod> oh great, let's all listen to a guy bitch about his failure w/ women.
    Somone shoot me

Quote #118

Tue, May 18, 2004
04:19:07 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: what's the difference between bash.org?
04:19:40 AM: <fGewA> and?
04:19:49 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: and what?
04:19:56 AM:   <Miroku> AND THEN!
04:20:04 AM: <fGewA> well, for a difference, you need two things.
04:20:07 AM:   <Miroku> AAAAAAND THEN?!
04:20:26 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: do u have to be so damn picky?
04:20:34 AM:   <Miroku> AND THEN?!
04:20:48 AM: <fGewA> picky nothing. there was nothing I could do with your incomplete sentence :)
04:21:19 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: yer whole obsession with grammer is irritating
04:21:39 AM:   <Miroku> samrod: AAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDD THEEEEEEEEEEN?!!?!?!?!?!
04:21:39 AM: <fGewA> samgod - again, an obsession is not required. your sentence was unusable
04:22:00 AM:   <Samrod> Miroku: wtf?
04:22:26 AM:   <Miroku> what's the differenece between bash.org
04:22:38 AM:    <floop> i think samrod is taking a break from having me talk to him about AE to have
    flame wars with dorky people
04:22:52 AM: <fGewA> floop - you think we're dorky?
04:23:04 AM: <fGewA> http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/qf.py?qf=sgf&view=quotes
04:23:08 AM:   <Samrod> floop: I'm sorry, I'm extremely at the moment
04:23:14 AM: <fGewA> samgod - yes you are
04:23:19 AM:    <floop> haha
04:23:25 AM:   <Miroku> damnit samrod
04:23:30 AM:   <Samrod> Miroku: what?
04:23:36 AM:   <Miroku> stop using adjectives when forgetting your nouns
04:23:53 AM:   <Samrod> I have to finish 51 comps by morning, and I can't even stay awake long enuf
    to finish a
04:23:59 AM:   <Samrod> yes
04:24:01 AM:   <Samrod> a thought

Quote #119

Sun, May 23, 2004
03:24:32 AM:  <kriptik> watching samrod chat is like watching a kid running around with his head in
    a box, you know any second now he's going to run into something head first, fall down and scream

Quote #120

Mon, May 24, 2004
03:59:27 AM: <Tamahome> anyways, time for cereal
03:59:46 AM:   <Samrod> my god, everyone's going for cereal now
03:59:59 AM: <fGewA> samgod: lemme guess, you don't have any?
04:01:14 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: oh but I do man, the dreams of cereal were getting unbearable so I
    splurged on a whole gallon of milk and a half gallon of chocolate, and I actually have cereal...
    only I may not be entirely conscious enough to surgle it down, but that's another story
04:01:45 AM: <fGewA> I don't think I've ever surgled anything down.
04:01:53 AM:   <Samrod> hmmm...
04:02:22 AM:              Samrod is trying to figure out WTF he meant by surgled
04:02:11 AM:  <ramoth4> I think it's a combination of slurp and gargle?
04:02:17 AM: <fGewA> maybe
04:02:21 AM:  <ramoth4> Which, in a weird way, makes sense.
04:02:23 AM: <fGewA> odd thing to do with cereal
04:02:32 AM:   <Samrod> yeah, I guess
04:02:34 AM: <fGewA> but hey, it's samgod's cereal; he can do what he wants with it
04:02:35 AM:  <ramoth4> I know!
04:02:41 AM:  <ramoth4> You're choking on the cereal!
04:02:46 AM:  <ramoth4> And surgle is like a death rattle.
04:02:49 AM:  <ramoth4> That's it

Quote #121

Mon, May 24, 2004
04:03:58 AM:   <Samrod> uh oh, fGewA, yer just what I need when I'm trying my best to come off as
    normal around women, you just shit on my parade
04:04:25 AM: <Tamahome> RAIN Samrod, RAIN
04:04:46 AM:   <Samrod> Tamahome: WTF am I god?  I can't make it rain, sorry
04:07:10 AM: <fGewA> Tamahome: samgod has a point. I'm more capable of shitting on his parade than
    raining on it
04:07:21 AM: <fGewA> which presumes, of course, that he has a parade
04:12:04 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  if yer right cheeck was red & swollen right now, I'd slap u upside
    the face for shitting on my marching band
04:12:19 AM: <fGewA> wouldn't you be in your own parade?
04:12:38 AM:   <Samrod> I would, but I don't play any parade instruments
04:12:36 AM: <fGewA> and logically, if I were to shit on your parade, I would do it from an
    elevation beyond the reach of your arms
04:12:41 AM: <Tamahome> I'm not sure I want to know how one shits on a marching band
04:13:09 AM:   <Samrod> marching band?
04:13:16 AM: <fGewA> 04:12:04 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  if yer right cheeck was red & swollen right
    now, I'd slap u upside the face for shitting on my marching band
04:13:24 AM:   <Samrod> oh
04:13:24 AM: <fGewA> keep up, samgod
04:13:30 AM:   <Samrod> yeah, ok
04:13:38 AM:   <Samrod> y'd I say marching band?
04:13:44 AM:   <Samrod> I meant sharade
04:14:37 AM: <fGewA> you mean charade?
04:14:39 AM: <fGewA> not parade?
04:14:47 AM:   <Samrod> yesno
04:14:53 AM:   <Samrod> noyes

Quote #122

Mon, May 24, 2004
04:15:19 AM:   <Samrod> darkbunni: so I don't get to see new pix? :(
04:15:40 AM: <darkbunni> sammy, no :) private :)
04:16:14 AM:   <Samrod>  /msg darkbunni ok, then I'll ask im private....   how about the new pix...
    however long ago you were last here, you said you'd send one
04:16:24 AM: <fGewA> samgod: so much for that plan

Quote #123

Tue, May 25, 2004
02:40:47 AM:    Server: ramoth4 [ramoth4] is now known as fGewA
02:40:55 AM:    Server: GooIzYou [me] is now known as ramoth4
02:41:22 AM:    Server: fGewA [ramoth4] is now known as kathee
02:41:23 AM:    Server: ramoth4 [me] is now known as fGewA
02:41:35 AM:    Server: Samrod [Samgod] is now known as ramoth4
02:41:45 AM:    Server: kathee [ramoth4] is now known as Samrod
02:41:50 AM:  <ramoth4> oh hell no!
02:41:54 AM:    Server: ramoth4 [Samgod] is now known as kathee
02:41:58 AM:    Server: Samrod [ramoth4] is now known as ramoth4
02:42:06 AM: <fGewA> amazingly, I'm able to track who's who
02:42:11 AM: <fGewA> I've been IRCing for too damn long
02:42:12 AM:  <ramoth4> Me too.
02:42:16 AM:  <ramoth4> It's scary.
02:42:14 AM:    Server: notlb [notlb] is now known as Samrod
 temp. nick    reg. nick
 kathee        Samgod
 Samrod        notlb
 GooIzMe       kathee
02:42:21 AM:   <kathee> ya'll should learn to love Jesus!   PRAISE the lordy he's great!
02:42:23 AM:   <Samrod> indeed
02:42:33 AM:   <Samrod> hahahah
02:42:43 AM:   <Samrod> yeah, I think I'm cool, what do you think?
02:42:38 AM:    Server: GooIzMee [kathee] is now known as DoMeeFirst
02:42:51 AM:              DoMeeFirst
02:42:39 AM:              fGewA plugs samgod into his own vibrator
02:42:47 AM: <fGewA> oh
02:42:50 AM: <fGewA> sorry. my mistake
02:42:53 AM:              fGewA plugs samgod into his own vibrators
02:42:53 AM:   <kathee> gotta get the paper, brb...
02:42:59 AM:   <kathee> cereal, bbs
02:43:06 AM: <fGewA> remote, AIIEEEE
02:43:16 AM:   <kathee> kids are up, gotta songebath'em
02:43:36 AM:   <Samrod> well
02:43:43 AM:  <kriptik> hi
02:43:53 AM:   <Samrod> hi kriptik
02:43:56 AM:   <Samrod> how can I help you?
02:44:03 AM:   <Samrod> my name is Samrod, the all powerfull
02:44:08 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  you are such a loser, even if I was single and horny on a deserted
    island you'd still have no chance in hell
02:44:30 AM:   <Samrod> kathee don't be so mean, I mean, remember last night?!!?
02:45:00 AM:   <kathee> Samrod: last nighth when you jerked off while yer were bugging me for a pic?
    Get a life
02:45:15 AM:   <Samrod> why do you have to tell everybody?
02:45:26 AM:   <Samrod> I thought it was out little secret!
02:45:30 AM:   <kathee> Samrod: because you creep me out like all other women
02:45:49 AM:   <kathee> Samrod: you're just so, I mean eeewwwwww, gag me
02:45:43 AM:   <Samrod> well
02:45:59 AM:   <Samrod> if you want to be this way, I will kill you with my powefull intelect!
02:46:13 AM:   <kathee> hah
02:46:17 AM:   <Samrod> do you know I have an IQ over 240?
02:46:25 AM: <fGewA> ...thirds
02:46:36 AM:   <kathee> Samrod: is that your IQ or cholesterol?
02:46:42 AM: <DoMeeFirst> this is better than the cartoon channel
02:46:48 AM: <DoMeeFirst> lol
02:46:50 AM:  <ramoth4> DoMeeFirst: Definitely
02:46:48 AM: <fGewA> yeh
02:46:55 AM: <fGewA> definitely a candidate for both SGF AND UMF
02:47:04 AM:              ramoth4 munches on DoMeeFirst's popcorn
02:47:13 AM:              fGewA munches on ramoth4's popcorn
02:47:12 AM:   <Samrod> I'm speechless
02:47:20 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  face it, we've never even met you and you still manage to creep out
    most women who come here, doesn't that tell you something?
02:47:25 AM:   <Samrod> I should bave been a god!
02:47:29 AM:   <Samrod> and look what I became
02:47:38 AM:   <Samrod> a laughing subject, for you poor mortals!
02:47:32 AM:              DoMeeFirst moons kathee
02:47:51 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  yeah, there's no applicable word to describe you even
02:48:07 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  with dellusions of grandeur
02:48:16 AM:   <Samrod> people used to come to me, in the old times with sacrifices, and now look at
02:48:17 AM:   <kathee> brb...    coffee
02:48:23 AM:   <kathee> back
02:48:29 AM: <DoMeeFirst> front
02:48:33 AM: <fGewA> having the small mug, 'kathee'?
02:48:35 AM:   <Samrod> how can you make fun of me, when I lower myself to your level?
02:48:49 AM:   <kathee> fGewA: remember, I'm cutting back
02:48:57 AM: <fGewA> ah yes.
02:48:58 AM:  <ramoth4> Cutting back on the penis sa--kathee?
02:49:06 AM:   <Samrod> lol
02:49:07 AM: <fGewA> ramoth4: >rimshot<
02:49:14 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  honestly, I think you really need Jesus in your heart
02:49:17 AM:  <ramoth4> ::D
02:49:23 AM:   <Samrod> I have it
02:49:25 AM: <DoMeeFirst> wow
02:49:36 AM:   <Samrod> I'm his equal
02:50:07 AM:    Server: DoMeeFirst is now known as iAmKathee
02:50:09 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  women have a certain spirituality that you totally lack and are
    clueless about.  And they sniff that on you like sharp cheddar
02:50:27 AM:   <kathee> Samrod:  NO ONE is is equal, HE is the savior!
02:50:29 AM:   <kathee> :PP
02:50:40 AM:  <gigolo_> samrod is my god
02:51:04 AM:   <kathee> um, who's Samrod?
02:51:07 AM:   <kathee> I mean who's me?
02:51:13 AM:   <kathee> I mean, who am I/
02:51:16 AM:   <kathee> ?
02:51:23 AM: <fGewA> notlb
02:51:18 AM:              iAmKathee
02:51:31 AM:   <Samrod> cluebot sgf
02:51:36 AM:   <kathee> oh, even IRC drag feels kinda creepy
02:51:38 AM:    Server: kathee is now known as Samgod
02:51:24 AM:  <gigolo_> who is who?
02:51:29 AM: <fGewA> gigolo_: who made you?
02:51:40 AM:   <Samrod> thank you gigolo_
02:51:40 AM:   <Samrod> you have my blessing
02:51:40 AM:   <Samrod> child!
02:51:41 AM:   <Samgod> that didn't work
02:51:59 AM:    Server: Samrod is now known as notlb
02:51:59 AM:    Server: Samgod is now known as Samrod
02:52:06 AM:    Server: iAmKathee is now known as kaqyjee
02:52:14 AM:              Samrod is hyperconfused
02:52:20 AM:    Server: Samrod is now known as Samgod
02:52:53 AM:  <ramoth4> Samgod: why back to the old nick?
02:52:22 AM:    Server: kaqyjee is now known as kathee
02:52:32 AM:  <cluebot> somebody said sgf was the Samgod File, which is at
    http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/samgod.txt or at
02:52:50 AM:    Server: Samgod is now known as Samrod
02:52:55 AM:   <Samrod> WOO HOO!!  I'm me again!
02:53:03 AM: <fGewA> you were already you again
02:53:12 AM: <fGewA> ShadowIRC reclaimed your nick automatically when notlb changed back
02:53:18 AM: <fGewA> then YOU changed BACK BACK to Samgod
02:53:14 AM:  <ramoth4> fGewA: Don't ask
02:53:20 AM:  <ramoth4> Just don't ask

Quote #124

Mon, May 31, 2004
11:53:37 PM: <fGewA> okay... who wants the Bored Zo Edition of ShadowIRC 2.0a11?
11:53:52 PM:   <Samrod> ME
11:53:55 PM:   <Samrod> I mean I do
11:53:57 PM:   <Samrod> Here here!
11:54:01 PM:   <Samrod> I volunteer
11:54:04 PM:   <Samrod> affirmative
11:54:06 PM:   <Samrod> positive
11:54:11 PM: <fGewA> okay. samgod doesn't want it
11:54:15 PM: <fGewA> so. anyone?
11:54:16 PM: <fGewA> :)
11:54:17 PM:   <Samrod> absolutely, definitely, yes aie
11:54:35 PM: <fGewA> there's the URL, samgod
11:54:35 PM:   <Samrod> woo hoo!
11:55:08 PM:   <Samrod>  downloading
[time passes.]
12:01:55 AM: <fGewA> samgod: is it done?
12:04:24 AM:   <Samrod> is what done?
12:04:39 AM: <fGewA> the muffins
12:04:50 AM:   <Samrod> oh yeah
12:04:54 AM:   <Samrod> wait, I'm not making muffins
12:04:57 AM:   <Samrod> wtf?
12:05:07 AM: <fGewA> your download, samgod :P
12:05:20 AM:   <Samrod> oh

Quote #125

Mon, May 31, 2004
02:20:30 AM:   <Samrod> anyone else ever bothered by "Titanic" having only 2 T's instead of 3?
02:21:02 AM:   <Samrod> it's just, well, irritating
02:21:06 AM:  <Squibby> samrod: why would anyone be bothered by that?
02:21:26 AM:   <Samrod> Squibby: um, I just prefer "Tittanic" over "Titanic"
02:21:46 AM:    <Server> OoTLink (~Link@adsl-66-127-243-55.dsl.sntc01.pacbell.net) joined #macintosh
02:21:48 AM:   <cybs4u> when he see tit he loses it
02:21:58 AM:  <kriptik> OoTitLink
02:21:59 AM:   <Samrod> Squibby: sounds nicer, spells nicer
02:22:18 AM:  <Squibby> samrod: so are you saying you'd prefer Titan is spelled that way as well?
02:22:45 AM:   <cybs4u> and Title
02:22:23 AM:  <Squibby> btw, is this going in the samgod file?
02:22:48 AM:   <Samrod> Squibby: hey....  not a bad idea man!

Quote #126

Sat, Jun 05, 2004
05:04:04 AM:   <Samrod> HOLY SHIT!
05:04:15 AM:   <Samrod> crap, I forgot what I just HOLY SHITed about

Quote #127

Mon, Jun 28, 2004
03:09:23 AM:              Samrod almost died today
03:09:32 AM: <fGewA> how did you almost die?
03:09:32 AM:  <ramoth4> Shucks.
03:11:46 AM:   <Samrod> where my feet can reach the bottom...
03:12:31 AM:  <ramoth4> ?
03:12:44 AM:   <Samrod> until I started riding the waves right as they broke to kinda body surf
    forward faster, and eventually I *STRUGGLED* to shore, noticed my shlong was hanging out, zipped
    up my suit, and collapsed right there
03:13:01 AM:  <OoSLink> hahahahah
03:13:21 AM:  <OoSLink> the SGF gets another line ;)
03:13:23 AM:  <OoSLink> lol
03:13:11 AM:   <Samrod> I mean I fucking COLLAPSED, my legs just gave in, and I couldn't walk for
    like 10 mins
03:13:23 AM:  <ramoth4> Samrod: I missed part of that :(
03:13:24 AM:  <OoSLink> why?
03:13:28 AM:  <OoSLink> because the shlong?
03:13:33 AM:   <Stereo> lol
03:13:56 AM:   <Stereo> Samrod: there was something missing in there
03:14:06 AM:   <Stereo> * Samrod almost died today
03:14:06 AM:  <ramoth4> 0009.43| < fGewA> how did you almost die?
03:14:07 AM:  <ramoth4> 0011.56| < Samrod> where my feet can reach the bottom...
03:14:29 AM:   <Stereo> Samrod |  until I started riding the waves right as they broke to kinda body
    surf  etc.
03:14:21 AM:   <Samrod> OoSLink: I didn't give a crap about my shlong, point was that I wasn't gonna
    miss Steve's announcement (no kidding, first thought in my head when I realized "Fuck, I will
    die right now, my life is about to end and I will miss the keynote!")
03:14:42 AM:  <OoSLink> hahahahaha samrod
03:14:43 AM:   <Stereo> LOL
03:16:33 AM:   <Stereo> and dying would also mean no more kisses from cherryminx
03:15:01 AM:   <Samrod> you didn't get that line I just typed?  The fat paragraph?
03:15:18 AM:  <OoSLink> that part yes but
03:15:19 AM:  <OoSLink> I don't get it
03:15:41 AM:  <OoSLink> you're missing how you almost died
03:16:01 AM:   <Samrod> simple:  one moment I'm swimming around, having fun w/ my friend, pointing
    out chix in bikinis, the next moment I'm totaly void of energy
03:17:06 AM:   <Samrod> I was struggling for my fucking life as the waves were pushing me down and
03:17:19 AM:  <OoSLink> ouch samrod
03:17:28 AM:  <ramoth4> ouch sam
03:17:36 AM:   <Samrod> it's not that the waves or current were that strong, but even to treat the
    water or swim, you need ENERGY
03:17:44 AM:   <Samrod> hell, I didn't have any energy left to STAND UP
03:17:51 AM:   <Samrod> I couldn't WALK for 10 minutes
03:18:18 AM:  <OoSLink> why wree you suddenly void of energy?
03:18:27 AM:  <OoSLink> maybe lack of some mineral?
03:18:31 AM:  <OoSLink> errm... protein?
03:18:31 AM:   <Samrod> my friend was like "Well, they're waiting for us, we have to get going" and
    I had to attempt a few times before I was able to STAND on my legs without them buckling under
03:19:02 AM:   <Samrod> Joe:  my friends said "See, this is what happens when you don't sleep or
    eat...  yer blood sugar is low"
03:19:43 AM:   <Samrod> for the next few hours after that, I was shaking, lightheaded, and quite
03:19:58 AM:  <OoSLink> ouch
03:20:51 AM:   <Samrod> and it was even worse since there was a quite chick in our group, in front
    of whom I was trying to act like I'm totally fine.
03:21:24 AM:  <OoSLink> mmm
03:21:33 AM:   <Samrod> chix aren't impressed when a guy she's talking to suddenly has to grab a
    tree of pole to keep from falling for no other reason than sporadic loss of balance
03:22:26 AM:   <Samrod> I was trying to pretend like the world wasn't spinning around me while
    talking to her
03:22:19 AM: <groundzero> Being physically hurt is not a turn off, it just is, Samrod.
03:22:27 AM: <groundzero> Trying to hide it to save face, however, is a turn off.
03:22:36 AM:  <OoSLink> shoula just said you were feelign sick
03:22:46 AM:   <Samrod> groundzero: but she didn't know about what happened
03:22:49 AM: <groundzero> so?
03:23:01 AM: <groundzero> Tell her, if she's wondering why you're falling over.
03:23:21 AM:   <Samrod>  and explaining to her that I couldn't swim at the beach would've been just
03:23:06 AM: <fGewA> samgod: so did you get to a doctor?
03:23:56 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: doctor?  Hell no, we all just went to lunch and it was all better
    after I injested sugar, protein, & carbs
03:24:41 AM: <fGewA> samgod: well, that's good. perhaps this was your first experience with true
03:25:18 AM:  <ramoth4> *True Hunger
03:25:32 AM: <fGewA> *The One True Hunger
03:25:16 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: apparently, but I still never got the craving for food
03:26:12 AM:   <Samrod> it was fucking weird though, at the moment when I actually thought I was
    gonna die, I mean really drown right there, I couldn't stop thinking about the keynote & Tiger
03:26:51 AM:   <Samrod> I tell ya, Apple is one great source of suicide prevention

Quote #128

Mon, Jun 28, 2004
submitted by chiper. this happened 'around 4:30 pm PST'.
    Samgod: why don't we have people named Snak and Minerva in here?
    Chiper: Samrod: because minerva makes people come up with a unique nickname, rather then having
    a default
    Samgod: Chiper: oh
    Samgod: heh
    Chiper: I'd assume snak does the same
    Samgod: Chiper: well, i also meant why don't the Snak & Minerva developers hang out here
    Chiper: Samrod: uhm, they do
  Tamahome: Samrod: you're talking to him
    Samgod: oh, Chiper makes Minerva.... I was assuming, like DShadow has Shadow in his nick,
    Minvera's dad would have Minerva in his
    Chiper: and kinch is the author of snak
    Samgod: damn
    Samgod: and you guys all somehow manage to get along
    Chiper: Samrod: heh, you'll notice however that Onno is NOT in this channel
    Samgod: Chiper: Onno is yet another IRC client?
    Chiper: Samrod: onno = ircle
    Samgod: Chiper: oh that guy, he's still alive?  I figured he went into a comma since Ircle never
    seemed to make it out of beta...  or did it?
   friendy: Ircle 3.1 final was released April, 2004.
  Magic_Al: friendly... really?  ircle got out of beta?  is there a killer asteroid on the way or
    Ibiwan: what what?
    Ibiwan: an ircle version that doesn't end in 'b'?
            Ibiwan goes to look it up
TaxManWork: ircle? There seems to be a faint memory of that.
    Chiper: how long was ircle 3.1 in beta?  two years?
    Ibiwan: I always had 3.0bxx versions
    Samgod: Chiper: was in beta?  I don't remember ever seeing any version of Ircle not being in
    Chiper: yeah, brifly there was 3.0
   friendy: I just looked at the frontpage and thought it was so :p

Quote #129

Tue, Jun 29, 2004
01:54:31 AM:   <Samrod> hello? Anyone around?    Can I take a piece of bread, put it in a pan and
    drop in a couple eggs?  Is that something?
01:54:40 AM:   <Samrod> and cook the eggs
01:55:05 AM:  <friendy> Samrod: With sugar and cinnamon that's french toast.
01:55:37 AM: <Dr_Stein> Samrod - just fry the fucking eggs and put the toast in the goddamn toaster
01:55:51 AM:   <Samrod> Stein then how would I eat the toast?
01:55:56 AM: <Dr_Stein> Samrod - what?
01:56:00 AM: <fGewA> samgod: wait for the toast to come out
01:56:02 AM: <Dr_Stein> Samrod - put it in the toaster!
01:56:03 AM:   <Samrod> who the hell eats eggs with toast?
01:56:05 AM:  <friendy> No, serious. Take some sugar, a little vanilla, milk, add in the eggs. Whip
    and dip the toast. Fry & add cinnamon.
01:56:08 AM: <fGewA> samgod: my mom does.
01:56:11 AM: <fGewA> dips the toast in the eggs.
01:56:22 AM:   <Samrod> hmmm
01:56:25 AM:  <friendy> Oh. If you're going to do that, soft boil the eggs.
01:56:29 AM:  <friendy> My wife does that all the time.
01:56:43 AM:  <friendy> Soft boiled eggs on top of toast.
01:56:55 AM:   <Samrod> ok, so I'll put the bread in the toaster and the eggs in the pan
01:57:11 AM:   <Samrod> friendy: oh, like an omlette sandwich
01:57:28 AM:  <friendy> No, she breaks up the toast.
01:57:40 AM:    <dan--> samrod - never had a friend egg sandwich?
01:57:54 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: um...     not sure
01:58:05 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: not deliberately, no
01:58:10 AM:   <Samrod> otherwise, yes
01:58:33 AM:   <Samrod> I'm so not even hungry
01:58:33 AM:    <dan--> they're good.  you're actually making me hungry, and thinking of making a
    friend egg sandwich.
01:58:49 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: sorry
01:58:34 AM:   <TaxMan> fried egg sandwiches are good, but I prefer to do 'em with scrambled eggs.
01:59:09 AM:   <Samrod> TaxManWkr: scrambled eggs tend to fall apart being, well, scrambled
01:59:36 AM:    <dan--> do an omlette sandwich
01:59:43 AM:   <Samrod> ok
01:59:54 AM:  <friendy> Eat the eggs raw and snort crumbled toast.
02:00:04 AM:   <Samrod> the whole near death thing at the beach yesterday kinda scared me, so now I
    gotta "eat"
02:00:07 AM:   <TaxMan> Samrod: set up the scramble on the toast, set cheese on, add second piece of
    toast, place back in pan for a minute...
02:00:39 AM:   <Samrod> Tax:  oh, that'll melt the cheese into the scrambled eggs and kinda bind it
    all together for strength
02:00:45 AM:  <friendy> Roll the bread up into a straw and snort the eggs.
02:00:51 AM:   <cheese> grilled cheese is the bestest
02:01:30 AM:   <Samrod> my American cheese slices are green now, but that hasn't stopped me before
02:01:37 AM:  <friendy> Ugh.
02:01:46 AM:   <cheese> aged to perfection imho
02:01:57 AM:   <Samrod> um wait a minute, grilled cheese sandwiches are for chix though
02:02:12 AM:    <dan--> what makes grilled cheese sandwiches for chicks?
02:02:15 AM:   <cheese> no no no grilled cheese sandwiches score chicks
02:02:16 AM:   <Samrod> cheese:  and you'd be the one to think so
02:02:34 AM:   <cheese> okay so my opinion is biased who fucking cares?
02:02:51 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: well, I've never seen a dude eat a grilled cheese sandwich, they're
    very light snacks, and pretty much offer nothing
02:03:03 AM:   <Samrod> oh yeah, not to mention I've never had one either
02:03:06 AM:    <dan--> samrod - i love grilled cheese sandwiches.
02:03:20 AM:   <cheese> Samrod: I think you are gay
02:03:27 AM: <Dr_Stein> ahhahahah
02:03:33 AM: <Dr_Stein> uh
02:03:40 AM: <Dr_Stein> I like grilled cheese sandwiches too, asshole
02:03:45 AM:              Dr_Stein kicks people
02:03:45 AM: <Dr_Stein> :P
02:03:00 AM: <fGewA> samgod: throw out the cheese.
02:03:35 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: YTF would I do that?
02:03:39 AM: <fGewA> because it's green
02:03:44 AM: <fGewA> green cheese is bad for you
02:03:54 AM:   <cheese> green cheese is ripe
02:04:06 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: dude, if I trashed everything just 'cuz it's gone bad, I'd have to
    empty my fridge
02:04:48 AM: <fGewA> samgod: sounds like emptying your fridge is a good plan, then.
02:05:43 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA:  dude, I've had so much rotten food without ANY physical adverse
    health effects, I think it's mostly urban legend
02:05:57 AM: <fGewA> samgod: or you've been lucky
02:06:47 AM:   <Samrod> ok, I'm gonna go make this grilled greencheese scrambled egg sandwich
02:06:53 AM: <fGewA> samgod: ick.
02:06:57 AM: <fGewA> better put 911 on speed-dial. :P
02:07:10 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: you guys suggested it, WTF?
02:07:19 AM: <fGewA> samgod: I suggested grilled cheese
02:07:33 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: oh, so yer grossed out by the combination of cheese & eggs?
02:07:24 AM: <fGewA> I also suggested not using green cheese
02:07:34 AM: <fGewA> combined, this is a suggestion of grilled non-green cheese
02:07:36 AM:  <friendy> Or green toast.
02:07:38 AM:   <Samrod> oh, green cheese
02:07:43 AM:  <friendy> Green eggs are ok.
02:07:47 AM:  <friendy> And ham.
02:07:50 AM:    <dan--> samrod - it's supposed to be GREEN EGGS
02:07:53 AM: <fGewA> friendy: I will not eat it, sam I am!
02:08:20 AM:  <friendy> fG: Who the fuck is Sam? Eat yer fucking eggs.
02:08:34 AM:  <friendy> :D
02:08:37 AM:              fGewA throws his eggs at friendy, and naturally they land on his eyes
02:08:45 AM:  <friendy> <sizzle>
02:08:07 AM:  <Squibby> I will not eat green eggs and ham
02:08:17 AM:   <Samrod> hell, I've had no problem drinking rotten milk, cheese, fruit, or whatever
    the hell
02:08:37 AM:  <Squibby> that's gross samrod
[time passes.]
02:21:19 AM:    <Server> Samrod has signed off (Ping timeout)
[more time passes.]
02:35:32 AM:    <Server> NewUser (~shadowirc@ip68-6-248-226.sd.sd.cox.net) joined #Macintosh
02:35:35 AM:    <Server> Samrod (~shadowirc@c-24-126-183-236.we.client2.attbi.com) joined #Macintosh
02:35:36 AM:  <NewUser> hi
02:35:47 AM:  <NewUser> HIIIII
02:35:49 AM:  <NewUser> hello
02:35:53 AM:  <NewUser> hi
02:36:03 AM:   <Samrod> wait a min, am I supposed to toast the bread before putting it in the pan?
02:36:06 AM:  <NewUser> helloooo
02:36:15 AM:  <NewUser> lol
02:36:15 AM:   <Samrod> or will the pan toast it?
02:36:18 AM:   <Samrod> NewUser: hello?
02:36:20 AM:  <NewUser> pan
02:36:22 AM:  <NewUser> hi
02:36:24 AM:   <Samrod> oh ok
02:36:25 AM:   <Samrod> thanks
02:36:25 AM:  <NewUser> how old are u????
[further idiocy from this NewUser deleted.]
02:38:18 AM:   <cheese> Samrod: you toast one side of the bread then flip it and add cheese. the
    next step is to toast the other side and combine the two slices. afterwards you consume orally.
[still more time passes.]
02:47:59 AM:   <Samrod> god dammit, the toast burnt before the cheese even had a chance to begin
02:49:15 AM:   <cheese> I thought my directions were clear on this
02:49:36 AM:    <dan--> samrod - it's taken you this long to scramble some eggs and toast some
02:50:27 AM:   <TaxMan> he had to wake the maid.
02:50:57 AM:   <Samrod> yeah
02:51:01 AM: <fGewA> you mean butler. no way he could get a woman into any bed of his
02:51:45 AM:   <Samrod> but the damn cheese never melted, and the toast is black
02:51:49 AM:   <Samrod> still edible though
02:52:18 AM: <fGewA> if you can eat green cheese, you can eat black toast
02:52:10 AM:    <dan--> samrod - you're supposed to turn down the heat when you are melting the
02:52:29 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: dude, I did, I turned it off even
02:52:52 AM: <fGewA> samgod: you turned off the heat and the cheese failed to melt
02:52:53 AM: <fGewA> hmmm
02:52:58 AM: <fGewA> I wonder how THAT could happen
02:53:10 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: the pan was really hot
02:53:21 AM: <fGewA> samgod: but not under heat. thus, it was cooling down
02:53:11 AM:   <TaxMan> Samrod: I grill toast my bread -- leave one side untoasted 'till melting
    point... prevents burning that way.
02:53:48 AM:   <Samrod> y the ell is this shit so complicated?
02:54:00 AM:   <Samrod> you guys gave me the most complicated cooking task ever
02:53:54 AM:   <cheese> Samrod: on electric you need to lower the current on burners to almost
    nothing a little before you flip
02:54:09 AM:   <Samrod> flip?
02:54:16 AM:   <Samrod> cheese: and it's gas, btw
02:54:31 AM:    <dan--> samrod - you can't even make a chick sandwich?
02:54:43 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: no chix
02:56:16 AM:   <cheese> Samrod: okay so you do mediam to low flame. melt a tablespoon of cheese per
    2 slices of bread.  saturate the slives evenly.  you need to grill them for about 3.5 minutes at
    sea level. then flip and add two slices of cheese. after 30 seconds combine. after about 45
    seconds flip and leave for 30 seconds and then it is done.

Quote #130

Wed, Jul 07, 2004
12:39:46 AM: <FarmerJoe> Top 10 Samrod selling points
12:39:57 AM: <FarmerJoe> #10: HE's almost housebroken
12:40:57 AM: <fGewA> joe: 9: he knows how to keep a girl warm
12:42:14 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: I don't get #9
12:42:19 AM: <fGewA> samgod: exaust pipe
12:42:28 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: oh!  hahaa
12:41:39 AM: <FarmerJoe> #8: Save $, no need for birth control
12:42:24 AM:   <Stereo> fGewA: 8: if you don't want to fuck him after going back to his flat, he'll
    drive you back to san bernardino
12:42:41 AM: <fGewA> Stereo: 8 is taken :)
12:42:54 AM:   <Stereo> sorry, s/8/7/
12:43:00 AM:  <Squibby> stereo: that was below the belt man. :D
12:42:52 AM:   <Samrod> you know, as much as you guys are trying to be funny, these are more true
    than comical
12:43:08 AM: <FarmerJoe> Samrod, it's called ironic humor
12:43:13 AM:   <Samrod> no kidding
12:43:32 AM: <fGewA> 6: never take another purity test again
12:44:39 AM: <FarmerJoe> #5: will peek other girls interest as your "secret new guy"
12:44:44 AM: <fGewA> (pique)
12:44:57 AM: <FarmerJoe> sorry
12:45:00 AM: <FarmerJoe> tired
12:44:59 AM: <fGewA> #4: he'll never argue with you; he can do that by himself
12:45:45 AM:   <Stereo> #4: invisible in the dark, only wears black
12:45:51 AM: <fGewA> Stereo: 3
12:46:05 AM:   <Stereo> for pete's sake stop taking my numbers guys
12:46:14 AM: <fGewA> we can't help being ahead of you :)
12:47:03 AM: <fGewA> 2 and 1 remain, guys
12:47:30 AM:  <ste_vem> 1. can lick his own eyebrows!
12:47:43 AM: <fGewA> ste_vem: need something better'n that :P
12:48:19 AM:              fGewA prods joe and stereo.
12:48:40 AM: <FarmerJoe> fGewA, I'm thinking
12:49:01 AM:              fGewA has #1.
12:53:14 AM: <fGewA> ramoth4: top 10 samgod selling points. what's your suggestion for #2?
12:53:14 AM:  <ramoth4> Not sure
12:53:44 AM: <eriberri> fg: the known lack of STDs?
12:53:52 AM: <FarmerJoe> #2: Walking cure for insomnia
12:53:58 AM: <fGewA> hahaha
12:54:01 AM: <fGewA> I like both of those
12:54:06 AM: <fGewA> and #1: no need to worry about other women

Quote #131

Sat, Jul 31, 2004
03:32:27 AM:   <Samrod> crap, I can't stuff that bothers me
03:32:31 AM:   <Samrod> no
03:32:33 AM: <fGewA> you forgot a word
03:32:50 AM:   <Samrod> I mean I get bothered by stuff I can't stand
03:33:03 AM: <fGewA> that happens to all of us

Quote #132

Sat, Jul 31, 2004
04:04:42 AM:   <Samrod> whoa, today is September 11!
04:04:48 AM:   <Samrod> oh no, wait
04:04:54 AM:   <Samrod> n/m

Quote #133

Thu, Aug 12, 2004
02:29:45 AM:   <Samrod> um, Type:  Pentium 4 2.80Ghz   contradicts CPU Speed: 2.8Ghz
02:29:54 AM:   <Samrod> what the FUCK?
02:29:55 AM:  <kriptik> why
02:29:55 AM:   <Samrod> wow
02:29:59 AM: <fGewA> 2.8 GHz contradicts 2.8 GHz?
02:30:01 AM: <fGewA> how?
02:30:15 AM:   <Samrod> oh no
02:30:18 AM:   <Samrod> wtf
02:30:22 AM:   <Samrod> 2.8 == 2.8
02:30:25 AM:   <Samrod> n/m

Quote #134

Thu, Aug 12, 2004
02:33:42 AM:   <Samrod> kriptik: you're familiar with my webdev tools?
02:33:45 AM:  <kriptik> yes
02:33:53 AM:   <Samrod> HOW the hell?
02:33:56 AM:  <kriptik> you mention them 2x a week
02:34:01 AM:  <kriptik> at least
02:34:08 AM:  <kriptik> and i basically follow ever url people paste on irc
02:34:25 AM: <fGewA> kriptik: http://:::1:337:80/
02:34:30 AM:  <kriptik> fGewA: :p
02:34:41 AM: <fGewA> samgod: check that out
02:35:38 AM:  <kriptik> fGewA: IS THAT IPv6 localhost?
02:35:41 AM:  <kriptik> er caps
02:35:58 AM: --> *kriptik* blabbermouth ;P
02:36:10 AM: *kriptik[moider@3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937.org]* oh :p
02:35:54 AM: <fGewA> kriptik: wouldn't it be funny if it was?
02:36:04 AM:  <kriptik> what's localhost in IPv6
02:36:18 AM:  <kriptik> sorry, it's late
02:36:23 AM:  <kriptik> samrod can't read anyway
02:36:27 AM:  <kriptik> it'll be ok i bet
02:36:52 AM: <fGewA> samgod: http://:::1:337:80/
02:37:09 AM:  <kriptik> Samrod: if your mom is around i wouldn't follow FG's link
02:37:15 AM:  <kriptik> Samrod: do you live with your mom?
02:37:22 AM: <fGewA> oh come on. there's nothing there anyone's mom would object to
02:37:32 AM:  <kriptik> fGewA: there was when i visited it :(
02:37:38 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: your link simply points to http://localhost/
02:37:41 AM:  <kriptik> >_<
02:37:48 AM: <fGewA> aw.
02:38:24 AM:  <kriptik> samrod proves how accessable the internet really is to people with

Quote #135

Sun, Aug 22, 2004
02:10:07 AM:   <Samrod> hm...  well, it's not like I haven't been rejected by hookers

Quote #136

Sun, Aug 22, 2004
02:29:46 AM:  <friendy> So so so damned good: http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/qf.py?qf=sgf&idx=118
02:31:56 AM:   <Samrod> friendy: you're weird man
02:32:07 AM:   <Samrod> not that weird is bad or anything
02:32:30 AM:   <Stereo> Samrod: what's dhe difference between weird?
02:32:49 AM:   <Samrod> well, TO ME, there isn't one
02:33:00 AM:   <Samrod> but that's just me

Quote #137

Sun, Aug 22, 2004
03:27:09 AM:   <Samrod> !define foo; rm -rf /*
03:27:15 AM:   <Stereo> lol
03:27:19 AM:   <Samrod> heh
03:27:34 AM:   <Samrod> abeyance: fuck, say ssomething!
03:27:40 AM:   <Stereo> abeyance: did it work?
03:27:41 AM:   <Samrod> abeyance: SAY SOMETHING!
03:27:57 AM:   <Samrod> NMOTHER FUCKER!
03:28:03 AM:    <dan--> hah
03:28:14 AM:   <Samrod> FRANK!  SPEAK TO ME MAN!!  SAY SOMETHING!!!
03:28:30 AM:   <Stereo> I guess he's fixing his script
03:28:44 AM:   <Samrod> at least he's still pingable
03:29:04 AM:              TaxMan sets Samrod on fire.
03:29:06 AM:   <Samrod> I hope that didn't work!
03:29:22 AM:   <Samrod> please say nothing happened Frank
03:29:32 AM:   <Samrod> !define test
03:29:37 AM:   <Samrod> fuck
03:29:40 AM:   <TaxMan> "nothing happened Frank"
03:29:50 AM:   <Samrod> !findurl samrod
03:29:56 AM:   <Samrod> motherfuck
03:30:01 AM:   <Stereo> he's dead, sam
03:30:02 AM:   <Samrod> !define foo
03:30:03 AM:    :Server: abeyance has signed off (Ping timeout)
03:30:06 AM:   <Stereo> lol
03:30:10 AM:   <TaxMan> and away he goes.
03:30:13 AM:              Samrod craps his pants
03:30:29 AM:   <Samrod> I think I'm gonna have a heart attack
[for the record, it actually did work. abeyance has vowed to implement molly-guards before deploying
    from now on.]

Quote #138

Mon, Sep 13, 2004
[submitted by LafinJack.]
<Samrod> I can't even count how many times they've rolled their eyes or just got up and left at a
    single word "Hi..."
<LafinJack> try talking to their face and not their chest

Quote #139

Tue, Sep 14, 2004
02:44:43 AM:   <Samrod> which is a better name for a baby boy:  Gonad or Scrotus?
02:44:59 AM:   <Samrod> the latter commands more power and respect

Quote #140

Fri, Sep 24, 2004
09:42:05 AM:    :Server: Topic for #macintosh: <Samrod> Radie: um, you're a totally newbie here
    right? || <Radie> yes i am samrod || <Samrod> Radie: then how the hell did you know my name?
09:42:05 AM:    :Server: Topic set by dan-- on Friday, September 24, 2004 at 11:31:13 AM

Quote #141

Mon, Oct 04, 2004
01:34:36 AM:   <Samrod> wow, there's a local store called Batteries+ that sells nothing but
    butteries... wonder if they sell the NewerTech iPod buttery with over 20 hours of run time, or
    the newer one by someone else with up to 40 hours
01:34:50 AM: <fGewA> buttery, eh?
01:35:10 AM: <Sprfluous> a and u are nowhere near each other...
01:35:15 AM:   <Samrod> BATtery
01:38:25 AM: <fGewA> samgod: URL for the newertech one
01:38:35 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: uh...
01:39:21 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: http://eshop.macsales.com/Catalog_Item.cfm?ID=7095&Item=NWTBAPT4800LI
[it's a TiBook battery.]
01:39:42 AM:   <Samrod> oh wait, WRONG URL

Quote #142

Mon, Oct 04, 2004
01:45:59 AM:     <d`oh> anyway
01:46:03 AM:     <d`oh> i need sleep
01:46:06 AM:    <Verry> me too
01:46:15 AM:     <d`oh> yeah it's 5am there
01:46:16 AM:     <d`oh> you nut
01:49:16 AM:   <Samrod> it's 5am here too
01:49:31 AM: <fGewA> samgod: you left the Pacific time zone?
01:49:35 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: no, why?
01:49:50 AM:    <Verry> lol, samrod your'e insane
01:49:40 AM: <fGewA> well
01:49:42 AM: <fGewA> here in PDT
01:49:44 AM: <fGewA> it's 1:49 AM
01:49:55 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: um..    ok
01:50:03 AM: <fGewA> meaning, it's not 5 AM.
01:50:09 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: oh yeah

Quote #143

Mon, Oct 04, 2004
02:23:12 AM:   <Samrod> E
02:23:15 AM:   <Samrod> "E"
02:23:15 AM:   <Samrod> *E*
02:23:18 AM:   <Samrod> -e
02:23:25 AM:   <Samrod> _E_
02:23:21 AM: <fGewA> samgod: WTF are you doing?
02:23:34 AM:   <Samrod> um...
02:23:45 AM:   <Samrod> hmm...  well, THAT ^ up there
02:23:59 AM:   <Samrod> up above, was brought to you by the letter "e"

Quote #144

Tue, Oct 05, 2004
03:42:08 AM:   <Samrod> Strauss: so dude, left or right, which is your favorite nad?

Quote #145

Tue, Oct 05, 2004
03:51:59 AM:   <Samrod> WHOA!  Hey check this out:
03:52:07 AM:   <Samrod> um...
03:52:18 AM:   <Samrod> wait, fuck, I have nothing to show
03:52:25 AM:   <Samrod> n/m

Quote #146

Thu, Oct 07, 2004
02:50:41 AM:   <Samrod> we have certain individuals in here who feel the need to constantly post the
    same URLs over and over again.  Hey, you don't see me posting http://smarod.com/photos all the
    time do you?  Then enough with the SGF!
02:51:35 AM: <fGewA> hey samgod, you know what I say to that?
02:52:05 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: no, what?
02:53:17 AM: <fGewA> http://boredzo.fourx.org/irc/qf.py?qf=sgf&view=quotes
02:54:12 AM: <fGewA> btw, you spelled your URL wrong.
02:55:16 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: so why do you assume it's MY URL?  I was just using a random URL as
    an example...  it's not like I have any new pix to show you guys
02:55:30 AM: <fGewA> hm
02:55:34 AM: <fGewA> why do I assume it's your URL...
02:55:41 AM: <fGewA> because it has YOUR NAME (misspelled) in it?
02:56:03 AM:   <Samrod> fGewA: or perhaps that just a random URL that happens to remind you of my
02:56:17 AM: <fGewA> yeah... that must be it. RIGHT.

Quote #147

Thu, Oct 07, 2004
03:27:48 AM:   <Samrod> krip: so you guys broke up, got back together, hm...
03:27:56 AM: <NetwrkAdaptr> Samrod: yeah like a long while ago
03:27:59 AM:    :Server: NetwrkAdaptr has left #macintosh
03:28:50 AM:   <Samrod> krip: the same Olivia you were complaining about?  Saying how some annoying
    bitch likes you so much more than you like her but you have no balls to tell her you can't stand
    her so you'll just deal with it?  Didn't you also say she's ugly?  And that she smells?
03:29:53 AM:   <Samrod> Hey Olivia, Jotham's told us so much about you...  it's good to finally meed
03:30:43 AM: <fGewA> samgod: he's not here, dumbass

Quote #148

Fri, Oct 08, 2004
03:27:08 PM:   <Samrod> Samrod:  nnanaananaaa

Quote #149

Tue, Oct 12, 2004
01:10:59 AM:   <TaxMan> Samrod: you have to earn the right to be pedantic.
01:11:51 AM:   <Samrod> pendantic isn't a word

Quote #150

Thu, Oct 21, 2004
12:29:51 AM:   <Samrod> any designers in here?
12:29:55 AM:   <Samrod> Designers?  Hello?!?!?!
12:30:25 AM:   <Samrod> a freakin Mac channel and it's filled with codergeeks
12:30:24 AM:   <maruko> i'm a designer
12:30:40 AM:   <Samrod> maruko: hey, ok, listen to this:
12:31:20 AM:   <Samrod> maruko: I'm working on a project that'll display on a jumbotron before the
    band goes on stage at a concert
12:31:36 AM:   <Samrod> maruko: it's a 60 second clip that'll loop throughout the song
12:31:38 AM:   <maruko> Samrod: I'm a circuit designer
12:31:46 AM:   <Samrod> maruko: grrrr!!!

Quote #151

Fri, Oct 22, 2004
11:36:45 PM:   <Samrod> you know that feeling when your huge dump shoots back up your ass?

Quote #152

Wed, Oct 27, 2004
12:31:52 AM: <fGewA> cluebot: seen cherryminx
12:31:53 AM:  <cluebot> cherryminx was last seen on #macintosh 13 days, 8 hours, 55 minutes and 5
    seconds ago, saying: ill be back laters [Wed Oct 13 18:51:27 2004]
12:32:10 AM:   <Samrod> cluebot: hey man, that's a lot more recently than I've seen here
12:32:11 AM:  <cluebot> Samrod: i'm not following you...
12:32:33 AM:   <Samrod> cluebot: uh, she's been in here long after the last time I saw her
12:32:34 AM:  <cluebot> Samrod: excuse me?
12:32:38 AM:   <Samrod> cluebot: n/m
12:32:39 AM:  <cluebot> Samrod: sorry...
12:32:58 AM:   <Samrod> you should be

Quote #153

Fri, Oct 29, 2004
02:20:58 AM:   <Samrod> G5macman: tu peut utilizer VirginTracker.com por cette qui sont libres
02:21:28 AM:    <dan--> samrod - you started your own website for tracking your quest for sex?
02:21:39 AM:   <Samrod> dan--: no, why?
02:21:53 AM:    <dan--> VirginTracker.com?
02:22:06 AM:   <Samrod> s/Virgin/Version/
02:22:18 AM:   <Samrod> why the hell did I type that
02:22:26 AM:    <dan--> if that's not a freudian slip, i don't know what is

Quote #154

Fri, Nov 05, 2004
03:10:50 AM:   <Samrod> without men, women would be nothing more than wo

Quote #155

Sat, Nov 13, 2004
01:39:46 AM:              OoSLink laughs
01:39:49 AM:              OoSLink laughs some more
01:39:57 AM:   <Samrod> Joe:  what's so funny?
01:40:03 AM:   <Samrod> Samrod: who the hell is Joe?
01:40:15 AM: <Mac-arena> damn, man
01:40:19 AM:   <Samrod> wait, uh..

Quote #156

Fri, Nov 19, 2004
02:27:06 AM:   <Samrod> got a pic?
02:27:15 AM:  <OoTLink> no
02:27:21 AM:  <OoTLink> not one I'm gonna show you
02:27:46 AM:   <Samrod> OoTLink: then just show me one you're not gnona show me
02:28:09 AM:   <Samrod> wait a minute

Quote #157

Tue, Nov 30, 2004
[just changed his mom's home directory]
02:11:05 AM:   <Samrod> gonna log out & back in again....  see if it works
02:11:08 AM:    :Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
02:13:25 AM:    :Server: Samrod (~Overexpos@ppp-68-122-210-150.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
02:13:32 AM:   <Samrod> didn't work.
02:13:51 AM: <Mac-arena> what didn't?
02:13:54 AM:   <Samrod> do I need to reboot for the new user directories to take effect?
02:13:58 AM: <Mac-arena> yeah
02:14:04 AM:   <Samrod> oh, so a logout won't do it
02:14:31 AM:   <Samrod> damn...  then I'll be back then then
02:14:35 AM:    :Server: Samrod has signed off (Quit: ShadowIRC 2.0a10)
02:17:36 AM:    :Server: Samrod (~Overexpos@ppp-68-122-210-150.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
02:17:44 AM:   <Samrod> still didn't take effect
02:17:50 AM:   <Samrod> weird
02:17:56 AM: <Mac-arena> did you save the directory after you made the change?
02:18:08 AM:   <Samrod> what do you mean by save the directory?
02:18:14 AM: <Mac-arena> what I said.
02:18:21 AM:   <Samrod> it already exists
02:18:27 AM: <Mac-arena> yeah, but you changed it.
02:19:12 AM:   <Samrod> when I launch NetInfo Manager, the home string is the new pathname
02:19:20 AM: <Mac-arena> samgod: then it's changed
02:19:31 AM:   <Samrod> uh oh, I'm a moron
02:19:33 AM:   <Samrod> DUMBASS!
02:19:38 AM: <Mac-arena> you're both!
02:19:40 AM: <Mac-arena> what happened?
02:19:53 AM:   <Samrod> I forgot to actually CHECK if it's taking effect at all
02:19:59 AM: <Mac-arena> uh... that would help
02:20:04 AM:   <Samrod> for some reason, I just kept assuming it's not working
02:20:07 AM:   <Samrod> yeah

Quote #158

Thu, Jul 14, 2005
from #mozilla on irc.mozilla.org:
02:33:31 AM:   <Samrod> fgewa:  dude, I'm only half a virgin now!
02:33:49 AM:   <Samrod> I think
02:33:48 AM: <Mac-arena> ?
02:34:07 AM: <Mac-arena> how does that work?
02:34:32 AM:   <Samrod> well, I kinda happen to have received oral for about 4 mins while wearing
    latex protection
02:34:43 AM: <Mac-arena> samgod: latex? not steel mesh?
02:34:50 AM:   <Samrod> ouch, heh
02:34:58 AM: <Mac-arena> exactly my point :)

Quote #159

Thu, Jul 14, 2005
[lollerbater = kriptik.]
02:35:06 AM:   <Samrod> Oh, and a messed up thing happened
02:35:27 AM: <Mac-arena> you mean besides getting head while wearing a condom?
02:35:33 AM:   <Samrod> this chick couldn't find my unit, so well, here's what happened
02:35:37 AM: <Mac-arena> ...
02:36:22 AM:   <Samrod> we're making out and I thought that I must be getting very nervous because
    my left hand felt like it was getting hardcore pins & needles, just like you do when your foot
    falls asleep
02:36:36 AM:   <Samrod> so I ignore it and continue
02:36:53 AM:   <Samrod> but the more we make out, the worse the pins & needles get
02:37:22 AM: <Mac-arena> until eventually, you bled all over her! right?
02:37:33 AM:   <Samrod> so anyway, we get further & further, and I start using my finger "in there"
    and she yelps like a dog, loudly
02:37:51 AM:   <Samrod> like "yyeeeowwwwouch!"
02:37:58 AM: <Mac-arena> I've never heard a dog say that
02:38:33 AM:   <Samrod> turns out it wasn't pins & needs and I wasn't getting nervous, but when she
    got to my apartment building, she couldn't find my unit so she circled the building at which
    point her back brushed up against the cacti
02:38:42 AM: <Mac-arena> hahahaha
02:38:47 AM: <lollerbater> haha
02:39:02 AM:   <Samrod> and while making out, I naturally put my arms around her and rubbed
    thousands of tiny pricks and needles onto my hand
02:39:35 AM:   <Samrod> and naturally, moments later proceeded to finger her with a hand full of
    cacti needles
02:40:03 AM:   <Samrod> she didn't find it that comfortable
02:40:23 AM: <Mac-arena> which is why you didn't go all the way right?
02:40:30 AM: <Mac-arena> after you basically laid a barbed wire fence for yourself
02:40:49 AM: <Mac-arena> 'What did you do that for, samrod?!' 'Oh, I'm into S&M *thrust*'
02:41:17 AM: <Mac-arena> that's when you REALLY want that steel mesh condom
02:41:44 AM:   <Samrod> but it got worse, because she ran to the bathroom and I heard a lot of
    running water, she returned and I had to use my other hand (luckly I had a spare) but I kept
    forgetting not to use my hand to grab her thingies and such, so a few days later when she was
    back, her left breast had developed a rash and tiny bumps all over it because I kept grabbing it
    w/ thousands of needles all over my hand

Quote #160

Thu, Jul 14, 2005
02:42:19 AM:   <Samrod> Mac-arena: heh, didn't go all the way 'cuz 1) she doesn't want to, and 2)
    I'm not attracted to her
02:42:34 AM: <Mac-arena> you're not attracted to her, so you were making out with her and you let
    her give you head
02:42:42 AM: <Mac-arena> yeah, that makes a lot of sense

Quote #161

Tue, Jul 19, 2005
01:21:34 AM:  <Squibby> what's wrong with her?
01:21:51 AM:   <Samrod> uh, her face, her teeth
01:22:03 AM:   <Samrod> she looks NOTHING like the pix she sent
01:22:23 AM:  <Squibby> does she look good in the dark?
01:22:35 AM:   <Samrod> umm....    uhh....

Quote #162

Tue, Jul 19, 2005
03:21:02 AM: <humongous> Samrod: http://weblogs.macromedia.com/flashjavascript/
[much discussion snipped]
03:36:03 AM:   <dan---> samrod - looks like you can do it with the integration kit that jotham
03:36:19 AM:   <dan---> it doesn't seem like the cleanest thing in the world, but it should work.
03:36:25 AM:   <Samrod> jotham?  Is he even here?
03:36:44 AM:   <dan---> humongous == jotham
03:36:53 AM:   <Samrod> oh shit
03:37:11 AM:              humongous urinates down samrods back

Quote #163

Fri, Jul 22, 2005
06:22:54 AM:    :Server: lenalarsson (~Snak@441a.brf-vatan.net) joined #macintosh
06:23:26 AM:   <Samrod> anyone seen lenalarsson lately?
06:24:02 AM: <lenalarsson> who's that?
06:24:15 AM:   <Samrod> why do you ask?
06:24:38 AM: <lenalarsson> why do you ask?
06:24:41 AM:   <Samrod> btw, who's who?
06:25:00 AM: <lenalarsson> it's me
06:25:09 AM:   <Samrod> ya don't say!
06:26:03 AM: <lenalarsson> where is everybody?
06:26:10 AM:   <Samrod> Earth
06:26:37 AM: <lenalarsson> ya don't say!
06:27:01 AM:   <Samrod> no, I don't

Quote #164

Wed, Jul 27, 2005
01:40:02 PM:   <Samrod> I don't see a URL in the topic
01:40:13 PM:   <Samrod> oh, no, that's the channel name

Quote #165

Fri, Jul 29, 2005
02:18:49 AM:   <Samrod> well it's official
02:21:39 AM: <Mac-arena> what is?
02:23:04 AM:   <Samrod> what is what?
02:24:50 AM:  <friendy> Ah Samrod, we missed you.
02:24:55 AM:  <friendy> For precisely this reason.
02:25:24 AM:   <Samrod> uh...   um,  ok?
02:26:04 AM: <Mac-arena> samgod: so, what is?
02:27:53 AM:   <Samrod> Mac-arena: where's the rest of your question? What is...  what?
02:28:03 AM: <Mac-arena> the rest of my question is at the end of your initial statement
02:29:59 AM:   <Samrod> my initial statement....
02:30:23 AM:   <Samrod> wtf?  What's official?
02:30:28 AM: <Mac-arena> right

Quote #166

Mon, Aug 01, 2005
04:44:19 AM:   <Samrod> btw, as of Friday, I am no longer a 30 year old virgin!!!
04:44:55 AM:  <kriptik> wow
04:44:59 AM:  <kriptik> sam you fucker
04:45:04 AM:  <kriptik> CONGRATS
04:45:09 AM:  <kriptik> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
04:45:13 AM:  <kriptik> ^G^G^G^G
04:45:13 AM:   <Samrod> thanks man!
04:45:15 AM:  <kriptik> ^G^G^G^G
04:45:18 AM:   <Kyrina> neat
04:45:20 AM:    :Server: Unknown channel CTCP "SAMROD_GOT_LAID " for #macintosh" from
    kriptik[jotham@kriptik.users.undernet.org], ignoring.
04:45:24 AM:  <kriptik> this is big news
04:45:32 AM:   <Samrod> uh no. I didn't get laid man
04:45:36 AM:  <kriptik> oh
04:45:38 AM:   <Samrod> I just turned into a 31 year old virgin
04:45:39 AM:  <kriptik> you are 31?
04:45:40 AM:  <kriptik> that sucks
04:45:41 AM:   <Samrod> yeah

Quote #167

Sat, Aug 06, 2005
03:46:00 AM:   <Samrod> Ben-: dude, my voice is REALLY sexy
03:46:05 AM:   <Samrod> well, unless i talk

Quote #168

Thu, Aug 11, 2005
02:20:07 PM:      <hb_> SBC is such an incompetent organization.
02:20:21 PM:   <Samrod> hb_: you mean that in a good or bad way?

Quote #169

Fri, Dec 16, 2005
[submitted by Ben- to qdb. original URL is http://qdb.us/52791 .]
<samrod> Ghost_of_XmasFuture: I have proof of part of the night
<samrod> guys, I'm freakin' the hell out right now
<NDPTAL87> Extreme and frequent sexual hallucinations can occur in virginal males over the age of
<samrod> alright you dildoes, I'll show you what's a halucinatino
<samrod> halucination rather
<stajaClaws> hallucination
<Ben^> typing skills?
<NDPTAL87> samrod: Fantasize about Mavis Beacon