Notices for 5th November 2006 to 29th October 2006
Sunday, 5th November 2006
Okay, this is going to be the mother of all notices entries. In the past, theTED posted some of the strange search terms by which their site was found, including “German Sheitze Porn”, and, “hello kitty toaster”, which is not as scary as Hello Cthulhu.
Looking at this month’s list of search terms that led people to my own site, I think I have them beat. With “child porn”.
Yep. And three more instances of it last month. What the hell? Child porn on my site? Back in 2003 I was offered a chance to look and feel 20 years younger; had I gone for it, I’d be nearly six now, but unless you get off on photos of Mr Spock as a kid then I can but do my best Iraqi Information Minister impersonation at this point.
Allegedly there are also hot teen girls on my site. Allegedly. That could have been argued back at the time I had my old photos page up (skylar was still teenage at the time). But otherwise, I don’t see any. There’s a photo of Anna Venishnick but she’s too old to qualify. But no, not hot teen girls, just a scabby computer nerd.
In this context, even a search term like “doggy cursors” seems quite filthy! Of course, I get plenty of total nonsense, too, like (and these are all from last month):
- “invader loader”
- “margarine tub art” (I did draw a picture of one, but do people get off on this too?)
- “nice” (at least it’s wholesome, unless I am missing something here, too)
- “the tardis colouring pictures”
- “what is a nob head”
- “wtf” (wtf?)
- “free children”
- “fish odd pictures”
- “roman characters paste” (goes well with cucumber in white bread sarnies)
- “tree pencil”
There are plenty of interesting terms too, though, including “watford electronics eprom” (do they want a blower, or a software ROM image?), “the first computer”, and “resume hints and tips” (oops – they wanted résumé tips, not tips on resuming downloads in iCab). Someone was looking for “another word for gold digger”.
Someone found my site through searching for “micro user ram and buffer”. Many searches seem to be where some nefarious bot has collected phrases from a site and used them to seed further searches, but that exact phrase is not on my site. It would warm my heart if by scanning in that rather amusing story, someone else was able to find a copy of it once again. Lots of the searches I see suggest that something I posted was exactly what someone was looking for. While I get effectively no mail from any visitors, it’s nice to know that my site has been useful to people somehow. That is, after all, why it is here. That, and to amuse and disturb you all.
And of course, some searches are just plain daft:
- “i love ms paint” (going in search of nutters like me?)
- “how to quit a program on a mac” (…)
- “q b a s i c g o r i l l a s” (!)
- “cassette 1989” (in the words of Eddie Izzard, “There’s a lot of them about!”)
- “display current words per minute average download”
- “free cars” (_ct_, that you?)
I’ll leave you with a sad tale of someone trying very hard to find QBasic Gorillas:
gorilla program -monkey -zoo -film -endangered -conservation
Wednesday, 1st November 2006
Well, for the first time in something like four years, I have some REALbasic code on my site. I stopped caring about publishing any specific re-usable code after my copy of REALbasic fell year upon year out of date. Using the REALbasic 2006r4 demo, I have been able to port my latest mini-project – a class to place a size grip control into the corner of a window in Windows – to the latest version of the language.
After the grief of trying to write such a thing I am glad to be able to offer a nicely wrapped up version for other coders to use. It does have a couple of problems, one of which is due to REAL having screwed up the keyboard handling event model so that a window cannot filter keys before controls get them. Hopefully someone on the REALbasic forum will have some idea how to work around that, so that I can allow the user to press the escape key to cancel a resize.
But, there, my first REALbasic 2006 code. Actually, my second: I ported DragBar to REALbasic 2006 a while back for someone who’d requested it be added to REALbasic in their Feedback system. So I have finished off that job and posted it officially too.
Sunday, 29th October 2006
Hello, me again.
You’re acting like you’re surprised …
Bug of the Moment updated again. Now there’s a surprise.
I got a mail from Peter Hosey recently to tell me that he has finally given the awesome SamGod file an official home (previously I’d been linking to an outdated copy that Chiper had posted). I do warn you, the SamGod File will warp your mind! Caveat reader.
Since the navigation on Peter’s site is rather non-existent, here is a link to the front panel of Quote-File Central. The cool thing about Quote-File Central is that you can now link to individual quotes to post them into instant messages, channels and forum posts. Samrod is going to kill us all!